remodeling this life

I was watching a TV show the other night. In it, a woman walked into her home arms full of bags from a shopping spree. When someone took note and commented, she replied “I had a lot on my mind today”. Yeah, okay. So? I used to be like that. I shopped to relieve stress, I shopped when I was sad, angry, and annoyed. I thought that was what people do. It is, after all, a myth perpetuated by the evil media that buying things makes everything better. Having a bad day? Go buy yourself a little something special. Why is that? Why not instead perpetuate the reality that spending money unnecessarily not only won’t bring happiness but will often create more stress and unhappiness, especially if you’re spending money you don’t have. I’ve been there. It’s not fun and it’s not worth it.

I know that there are a lot of other things I can do than spend money when I am in need of a pick me up like these frugal ways to improve your mood. I don’t disagree that a little splurge or treat for ourselves now and again is valuable. It’s not as if I don’t do things for myself still. But I don’t do them with the expectation that because I am treating myself to something, I will somehow find true happiness in that latte or new pair of jeans.

Just the other day, I was unmotivated and feeling unproductive. So instead of sitting home with the kids amidst the mess I had no desire to clean up, we left the house for 5 hours. We went to the park and playground where the kids happily played for an hour while I chatted with other parents. Then we went to Target where I walked in with a list of not exciting stuff we needed for around the house like dishwasher detergent, laundry soap, new sponges, ziplock bags and garbage bags. Not exactly the kind of impulse this will make me happier shopping I used to do. And when I walked out of Target having gotten some rocking deals if I do say so myself, THAT made my spirits lift. Saving money on things my family needs is exhilarating. A trip to the Barnes and Noble train table where we met friends and our kids happily played without having to spend a penny was up next on the list. After returning home from our afternoon out, Drew thanked me for all the fun. It doesn’t matter to her if we go somewhere that costs $20 to get in or is free. She just likes being out with friends and enjoying the outdoors. She does also, admittedly, LOVE Target.

I don’t know what it is. My life must just be richer and more fulfilled now because it’s coming awfully naturally to me now to do things on the cheap (or free!). It’s exciting and fun. There are so many thrilling and fulfilling things to do in life that make me feel really great. It must be something about that inner happiness and not feeling like I can buy my way out of a bad mood anymore. It’s freeing.

Yesterday was a total frugal flop. Here’s what happened. I took my kids to playgroup at this indoor play place. We have only been one other time and that was months ago. So, I forgot that it’s a socks required place. For some strange reason, I had a pair of socks for each of the kids. So I was prepared where I usually am not – why did I have two little peep pairs of socks in my purse? But I wasn’t wearing socks and they wouldn’t let me in without them. I’d already paid the $9 to get Bug in. There was a dollar store next door. But it was one of those annoying ones that calls itself a dollar store but really the prices are like multiples of a dollar. Makes no sense to me. So I spent $3 on a pack of 3 socks – I need socks anyway but still I was annoyed. Then a woman came in and had the same thing happen to her, paid and her son was already running around and she wasn’t wearing socks. So I gave her one of my new pairs so she didn’t have to go do the same thing I just did. So really I paid $3 for 2 pairs of socks and a feel good moment.

THEN, we’re in there playing and Monkey is climbing around on all the stuff having a great old time and I hear it. The poop. He pooped. He has never once pooped when we were out of the house. And he almost always poops in the late afternoon. I know, way more than y’all need to know about my almost 1 year old’s poop schedule. But still, I *should* be prepared for the event and I wasn’t. I didn’t have one single diaper in my bag. How did that happen? Well, when I got home and found them strewn about in the living room I realized that my purse had been rummaged through. We did need more diapers in the next few days anyway but I was extremely annoyed with myself. A $9 morning at the playplace turned into $25 after I paid for socks and then went to Food Lion (which by the way if you have one of these don’t ever go there. It was disgusting. Seriously smelled like puke and cigarettes – I’d have been better off putting up with the poopy diaper stench than walking in there) to get diapers and wipes.

It could’ve been worse, I realize. And it’s not like I was buying things that I wouldn’t otherwise have had to buy within the near future, but I was still really annoyed at myself. I vow to be much more prepared and organized next time we leave the house.

As I was putting Drew to bed tonight, we were snuggling and talking about what we want to do tomorrow. We do that every night, make plans for the next day. I find it helps her go to bed more easily and it’s a good way to unwind and chat and giggle a bit just the two of us. So we chose tomorrow’s letter. Each day gets a letter around here and we follow a theme for that letter. Tomorrow’s letter is P. We’ve decided to stay in our pajamas and go to the park for a picnic. She wants to have popcorn and play with play doh also. I am sure that some more brainstorming overnight will bring forth some other fun frugal ideas that start with P. Any suggestions?