Holding On

Spring break has ended for us. I looked forward to 10 days of no alarm clock and lazy mornings for so long that by the time it was here, it felt like it was gone. When yesterday came and I realized that it was the last of our days to spend doing whatever we wanted, I was sad, clinging to the hours of sunshine left to play.

Determined to make the most of it, afternoon rolled around and I was herding kids in from the back yard, into sneakers and out the door for an afternoon at the park – all of us, hubby too. No one was on my schedule, everyone was hungry or tired so it took a while and I was grumpy. This is our last day of spring break! Can’t we do something as a family without anyone grumbling? We arrived at the park. The tired hubby plopped onto a bench and laid down. I grumbled again. We are having a *family* day, can’t you sit up? As if getting in the car and going to the park makes the day more about family than if we’d just played in our yard together like we had been.

I make the mistake of putting more value on some moments than others, and I know I miss out because of it. I try so hard to let the ordinary be beautiful but the tug of the idea that moments don’t happen unless you make them wins sometimes. Once the wrinkles got ironed out and the grumpy became less grumpy, it turned into a really nice afternoon of walking, exploring, playing, swinging and all around sunshine-y fun. I lamented to myself that I should have been doing this all week, all those other days that we were together and had the time.

Instead, there were sleepovers, long car rides, running in the rain, watching movies, ice cream dates. Oh, all that ordinary wonderful stuff that makes up life is what happened.

As the hours of yesterday disappeared, I held on tightly. One last night to stay up and paint toenails with my daughter and letting her braid my hair. No distractions, just us. I knew once I sent her off to bed and I gave in to sleep too, that it would be over. Alarm clocks would blare, chaos would ensue as shoes were searched for and bags were packed.

Today, back to the old normal. Made a little bit easier knowing that yesterday, a sometimes normal, was full of sunshine and playing together. And only a little grumbling.