I spent the better part of yesterday afternoon finishing up a project started months ago. My mom and I made my son a rag quilt over the summer. We also bought fabric for, but never started, one for my daughter. Temps dropped here this week, giving me just the kick in the pants I needed to get started on hers so as to avoid any arguments on the couch over who has a blanket and who doesn’t.
As with most projects I do, there were snags along the way, mistakes to go back and fix and imperfections to leave alone.
I sat working away on this butterfly pink blanket for my daughter, knowing how thrilled she’d be when it was done, and I had a kind and gentle reminder pop into my head. I was doing this for my daughter with love, not perfection in mind. I have struggled too long over the need for things to be just right. I spent so much of my life afraid to try for fear I wouldn’t do it right. I spent too much time beating myself up for the tiny flaws, the mistakes, the missteps and worrying if anyone else noticed them as much as I did.
I had to put the quilt project on hold to join a friend for yoga class. Yoga. I haven’t gone to a yoga class in years. I consider myself quite clumsy – walking into walls and tripping over my own feet clumsy – so all I hoped to get from the evening was to have fun with a friend, relax a little, and not embarrass myself horribly. I let go of the fear of not doing it just right or perfectly and went to enjoy doing it just as I am. It was wonderful and I am so glad I didn’t let not doing it perfectly keep me from doing it at all. The instructor even told me that I am graceful like a prima ballerina. I think I laughed out loud. It’s all about perception, isn’t it? It made me realize how far off my own view of me can be and also made me realize how hard I can be on myself. How ungracious I can be to me.
I arrived home with enough time to tuck my kids in and finish up the rag quilt, wash it on quick cycle and dry it before heading to bed. As I pulled that raggy pink butterfly quilt out of the dryer and felt the warm on my cold hands, I felt so good. I walked into my daughter’s room where she lay sleeping peacefully and laid the made with love quilt over her. I am sure when she wakes up and sees it, she’ll only see the love and not the imperfection.
I went to bed happy that it had been a day that I rejected fear and did things with love.
Beautiful post and wonderful reminder!
Living A Bona Fide Life
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This is a post from your heart and it is enough, the message comes through clearly and beautifully. Thank you.
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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by remodelingthislife, remodelingthislife. remodelingthislife said: My latest post Done With Love, Not Perfection: I spent the better part of yesterday afternoon finishing up a pro… http://bit.ly/gNQ9je [...]
Whew – I read that in my reader as (I’m) Done with Love! Glad that wasn’t the case!
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Emily Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 7:50 am
Okay now that you say that, the whole title sounds different! Ahhh the written word.
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Beautiful post!! What a wonderful reminder!
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I’ve been enjoying your past few posts so much, they have been things that I have been thinking about a lot lately. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, your heart and being real. I hope you don’t mind, I linked to your post yesterday about Christmas, it was great!
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so glad you went to yoga! I was just reading about how yoga really inspires love. You put it together so nicely here just in this post. Love your thoughts of your previous post as well. Take care.
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What a great post! I cringe when I think of all the things I never tried because I was worried I “wouldn’t be good at it.” It’s something that I am actively working on – and I am even thinking about taking a hula hoop class! : )
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This is a great reminder of me. I have a pile of unfinished projects to do but don’t even start them because I am too scared they won’t be perfect. Your post is a reminder that perfection does not matter, it is the love that counts!
Thank-you!
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Beautiful post and a good reminder. I am sure your butterfly blanket is lovely and that your daughter will love it.
Hope your day is great! ~Iris~
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Ballerina Emily! : )
Loved this post!
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I love it! I struggle with this too, though I am recently learning to let it all go. It feels so good! My house is messier, but I couldn’t be happier about it.
Thanks for sharing your process.
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How is it that so often I read behind other women who are coming to the same conclusions I am at the same time? Amazing! I’ve been dealing with perfection-issues in my own life recently, realizing that there is no such thing and that I need to be more accepting and more forgiving – of myself and others! Jesus was perfect but He didn’t ask us to be – only to love Him and others.
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This is a such a beautiful story. I relate to so much of what you said about the getting it right and the daily battle against perfection. Kids see things through such a purer lens that we do. I love that. And I bet your little one loves that quilt.
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This and your previous post has reminded me of what it takes to pulls ourelves out of the advertised way we “should ” celebrate and approach this time of year. About 7 years ago, we had just bought our house and then my husband was laid off in November right before our 1st Christmas here, we had had all of the moving expenses and weren’t in a great situation financially. There was no money for Christmas gifts and 4 little ones with great anticipation. We put up our tree after Thanksgiving and for weeks it stayed empty. not one present. The kids would check daily. No perfect Christmas (as I had been led to believe) here. I got an idea from a friend of wrapping her holiday books so that her kids wouldn’t know which one they were going to read. In our case it became our gifts. One morning, the tree was filled with my collected holiday books(I was a teacher with a collection)all wrapped up. Each day one child got to choose a book for our family to enjoy together. It didn’t matter if there were no new whatevers wrapped perfectly.They were thrilled and excited–ripping off the wrapping paper as if it was from Santa himself! We’ve continued the new tradition since making it part of our treats in our Advent calendar. The kids keep tabs and as soon as November 30th arrives, they get excited and say “it starts tomorrow!” Out of somthing so makeshift, came one of our most “perfect” traditions.
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Absolutely beautiful post. Thanks for sharing
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I only recently found this blog. I stumbled upon it through a google search for simple living. Your last two posts were so on target with me that I had to sit down and just be. I often don’t start or complete projects because I am afraid of a lack of perfection. I have the skills to do them, but not the guts. It’s one of my biggest hurdles of self-esteem. I’m also overwelmed with the consumerism and the “keeping up with the Jones” that Christmas has become. My family often sits under the Christmas tree and reads stories. It is so nice to hear that I’m not the only one. Thank you
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I made a rag quilt for a friend. Thank you for pointing out to me that I made it with love…
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What a wonderful post. I’m glad I’m not the only one that struggles with this. I’m constantly trying to remember that I am not perfect nor do I need to be, but it’s so hard! I always want to try new things, but the fear of failure holds me back. Thank you for sharing.
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Absolutely precious! Perfection is overrated! I just blogged about it myself!
Bernice
http://livingthebalancedlife.com/2010/waiting-for-perfect/
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I’ve done rag quilts for my two older boys. I like them because they are so forgiving and very much hide any stitches that are not straight! Skyler sometimes calls him his “love blanket” because it reminds him that I love him (since I made him the blanket).
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