I love smarties.
When I was in elementary school, one Valentine’s Day after we had handed out cards and candy to everyone in the class, my teacher said that we all could choose something from our Valentine boxes to have as a treat right there in the classroom. I am sure that I tore into my box, dug out a package of smarties and inhaled the whole thing in two seconds flat. I have a bit of a sweet tooth.
The girl who sat next to me, Jamie, also dug out a package of smarties. I remember her carefully opening it, laying the small round pieces of colored sugar in the pencil groove on her desk and leaving them there. She had one. Throughout the day, she would casually stop working on what she was doing, and slowly and deliberately pop another into her mouth, savoring each one. I don’t know why I remember this. Probably because I was in shock. How could she sit there, with candy in front of her and not eat it all right away? I remember trying to will her into eating them faster, gobbling them up so fast, she couldn’t even taste them, getting the sugar rushing through her veins faster.
That is me.
All about the instant gratification. No ability to slow down, savor the good stuff, taking the time to enjoy how something tastes.
Okay, I am getting better. And this is all about improving. Seeing my weakness and realizing that life is about more than just rushing through, gobbling everything up so fast that I forget to enjoy it. I still love smarties. I don’t eat a whole bag of 25 packs of them in 10 minutes anymore though.
Until fairly recently in my adulthood, I was all about having everything I wanted NOW. No matter what it cost or what it took. If I wanted a cute new outfit, I bought it regardless of if I could afford it. If I wanted to go out to dinner, I went and ate whatever I wanted without thinking about it, hardly enjoying it, and never really being able to afford it.
Things have changed and I don’t live like that anymore. I don’t eat too many smarties, I don’t spend more money than I have, I save money before I spend it, and I simply say “no” to a lot of things that I never used to. This has led to a life that is much simpler, costs a lot less, and packs in a lot more enjoyment.
I have been asked many times recently to share more about the frugal life we live. I am not a frugal blogger in the sense that I do not clip coupons and buy more crap than I need just because it’s cheap. My life is frugal, there is no doubt about it. But for us, it’s about a lifestyle not a trip to the store and a false sense of savings. We save money at the bank, not the checkout line. We say no to a lot but yes to the things that matter. We buy quality when we do spend money. Do I still go shopping for cute outfits? Yes. Do I still enjoy lattes from Starbucks? Very much so. I’ve found a balance so that my frugal life isn’t a life of deprivation, but one of consideration, one of determination, and one of careful deliberation so that my family can enjoy the things we love and leave behind the things that simply don’t matter or add to our life satisfaction.
I will be sharing our story – my life from frivolous to frugal – the path I journeyed along to get from a girl who spent more than she had without caring, digging out of debt and getting to a life with no debt, and using only what we have to get what we want and need. Our life is not extravagant by any means. It’s also not a life in which we are deprived of nearly anything that we hold to be important. I hope you’ll enjoy a little series on From Frivolous to Frugal starting soon. I hope it’s encouraging and inspiring. I have shied away from sharing a whole lot about money and frugal living because I feel like it is so personal, like we all do the best we can. But I also know we all can use a little inspiration from time to time. We want to know how someone else did it. How we got from there to here. And why it’s fabulous. So, I will share. And I hope you’ll enjoy.
Right on! You worded everything so clearly. I do love a cup of coffee from a store every once in a while and a new apron from my favorite discount store. But life just doesn’t have room for splurging or misbehaving. My newest baby is a brand new touch phone, haven’t gotten a new one in five years. I feel blessed to have waited that long and that was the best Valentine’s gift ever. New technology to help me with my newest and cheapest journey, the starting of a blog.
Thanks
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i can’t wait. this will be a great series. thanks for writing it.
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I am so looking forward to hearing about your journey!
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I’m looking forward to this series as well. We are trying to pare down our own lifestyles and stuff and needs for instant gratification. Cheers!
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I am very excited about this series, and hearing more about your philosophy of frugality, which does seem to have a different focus than many frugal bloggers share.
I have been really into couponing and that whole pursuit, and lately have become really uncomfortable with it– am I buying stuff we don’t need? Am I making less healthy choices than I would otherwise because they are cheap in dollars now, only to be paid for in some other way later? And, on a spiritual note, for me, is the pursuit of “savings” as detrimental as overspending would be?
I’m turning all these things over in my mind and looking forward to hearing your perspective.
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looking forward to your posts…definitely a timely topic for me.
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You know, I think you’re absolutely right about living frugally being a lifestyle and not just a coupon. I completely feel that way. I say no to many, many things and don’t buy things just because they are on sale or I have a coupon. That’s not really saving to me. Can’t wait to hear your story!
-FringeGirl
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When I was a young woman supporting myself on very little, I discovered that with creativity, a little can do a lot. I furnished that first post-college apartment with family cast-offs and thrift store bargains. I made do. I challenged my creativity to find ways to create beauty. I tried to be content. I opened that apartment to everyone I could, and tried to cover any lack in furnishings and decoration with warmth and hospitality.
Well, everything is so much more comfortable now. There is money to spend, here and there. I am grateful that I can go to Starbucks now and then, like you. I love beautiful things, but I haven’t forgotten that feeling from those days (a really long time ago!) I can not spend and still be happy. I can create something beautiful, or at least better, out of a cast-off. A frugal life is a creative life, and there is a certain beauty to it.
I can’t wait to see what you have to say about your journey. I really like what you have had to say so far.
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I can’t wait to read more! There are many ways in which I still swallow the whole package of smarties in one breath.
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I can’t wait to read this series. I completely agree with your interpretation of frugality. I actually believe that’s it – deciding what is important to you and then living life according that which truly makes you happy, instead of acting on impulse or acting mindlessly. Being frugal doesn’t mean giving up on lattes or cute clothing at all, it just means being mindful of those purchases, of truly enjoying them, and working them into a balanced financial plan and lifestyle that supports your entire familys’ goals. Thank you for recognizing this.
Writing about frugality, and about money, is personal and tough to write about sometimes. But it can also be a joy. Thank you for sharing.
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Funny international world. We do have that candy, although I do not know how it is called here. We do have smarties too, but those are like chocolate m&m’s in colorful little boxes. Haven’t had those in ages, brought back memories of them.
I always start to (try) to savour and then I end up gobbling it all up in one go. I guess I go for instant gratification too.
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Great post Emily. I can’t wait to hear more of your story.
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Consideration, deliberation, and determination–perfectly said Emily.
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” We save money at the bank, not the checkout line. We say no to a lot but yes to the things that matter. ”
Beautifully said! I can’t wait to read the series!
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I was always the one that took all day to eat my smarties! I can eat just one cookie out of the package. However that didn’t apply to me when spending money this I have had to learn over the years.
I married the opposite, Frugal with money but can down a box of cookies without thinking twice. We have been good for each other.
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“We save money at the bank, not the checkout line” Love this!
I can’t wait to read this series. I love reading about how people manage their money.
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I’m looking forward to it. I’m trying to find the balance here with doing what is most important in a way that fits our values and our budget without being consumed by finding “great deals” every time I go shopping.
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I can’t wait to read about your journey. I really liked your statement, “I’ve found a balance so that my frugal life isn’t a life of deprivation, but one of consideration, one of determination, and one of careful deliberation so that my family can enjoy the things we love and leave behind the things that simply don’t matter or add to our life satisfaction.” A lot of the frugal living I read about is not where I want our family to be, but we do need to learn to be careful with our spending and not be careless. Can’t wait to read your series.
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This was beautifully written and made me smile, I was the girl who ate the whole packet instantly and probably still am while my daughter is the one who can save a piece of candy for weeks or only eat one cookie from the jar, I’m so envious of her! I don’t buy fancy clothes but I spend more on my purse then most, but I carry those purses for years and years and the rooms I have designed seem to always turn out better when there is a tighter budget! You said it right, its about what is really important and that is different for every family!
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WOO HOO!!! I’m so proud of you and can’t wait to join you on this journey!!!
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I am excited to read your journey – while our journey was entirely different than yours I think we are at the same place as you now- saving money, spending only what is planned, enjoying the little things (lattes!) and purchasing quality items that will last.
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Love the smarties story… man, that sums up so much of my life in a nutshell. I hope you address how to lessen the feeling of wanting and focus on being content. My husband and I are so overextended and working on paying off debt. I still just feel myself with such a huge feeling of WANT… it’s almost a physical craving sometimes, even though logically, I know that things are not what matter, etc. And sometimes, I worry that my love of blogs adds to it all. They’re always showing off a cute find, new sponsor on etsy, etc.
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Simply awesome post, my friend. I think we would have had a lot in common in grade school! I’m excited to learn from ya.
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Oh my friend, we have so much in common. A love of smarties? Check. A history of needing instant gratification? Check.
I so clearly remember lunchtime with one of my friends in maybe 3rd or 4th grade. Her mom would always pack her a little tinfoil packet with a few pieces of candy in it. Maybe 6 or 7 candy hearts…something like that.
She would open the packet and delicately eat maybe 2 or 3. Then she would wrap the rest up and take them home. I remember thinking I might scream if she didn’t eat them all! How could you possibly put a sweet treat back in your bag and not finish it? It totally boggled my 3rd grade mind.
I am really looking forward to reading your frugal story.
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Emily. I love this. LOVE it. I know there is a place for coupon clipping and checkout line saving, but there is also a bigger picture reality and I love that you are touching on that. What a beautiful way to combine your love of writing and perspective with your family’s story of frivolous to frugal. I can’t wait to read more as you are willing and able to share.
And great shots of the smartees, btw
heart you, the other emily.
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I’m so with you on this! Frugal is not about having more for less, but having less for less. I can’t wait for you to start writing about your journey!
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I happened upon your blog for the first time tonight, and have found your posts extremely interesting and ispiring. But I couldn’t help but post on the “smarties” … I think it’s a Canadian thing, but smarties here are a very popular candy coated milk chocolate. Delicious. If you ever get the chance to try them I definately recommend it! I’d call the candy you have pictured a Rocket.
Your story of Jamie reminded me of myself in sixth grade. I remember having a rice krispie cookie for recess, and eating it one rice krispie at a time. I savoured it. And ran out of time – recess ended before I got through half the cookie! Somewhere along the line I’ve lost this ability to slowly enjoy and savour “treats” … hopefully your blog will help me find the way again!
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Emily Reply:
February 27th, 2010 at 5:22 am
Hi Michelle, thanks for coming by and commenting! I spent 8 summers spent in Canada when I was younger, so I am quite familiar with your version of smarties. My best friends who are Canadian and I debate the really important things in life, like which version of smarties is right
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[...] On Smarties & Instant Gratification from Remodeling This Life. From the post: “Until fairly recently in my adulthood, I was all about having everything I wanted NOW.” <– Me too! [...]