Photos and Memories

I am taking the week off from blogging, to take in the moments with my family and make the most of the time with my kids when they aren’t in school. I thought it a good time to dig up 5 of my personal favorite posts from the past year. This one was written September 3rd, 2008, and made me smile and cry to re-read it again today

I love taking photographs. I love documenting moments with my family so that I can flip back through them and instantly be brought back to that time to feel the emotions of days, months, years before.

Today, I decided to document my day in photos. From getting my daughter ready for school to errands and fun around the house, I documented almost all of it.

I learned a few things through this exercise. First, I do a lot of stuff. I tend to sometimes finish a day and think back on it and all I can say is “I took care of the kids today”. Maybe it’s exhaustion, maybe it’s just the result of routine, but when it came down to grabbing my camera every time we were about to do something new so I could document it, I kept thinking “Wow! I do way more than I think I do everyday.” That part of it was really neat. It really helped me to feel like even though sometimes the job of being home with my kids can get monotonous and some days I really do feel like all I did was keep my kids alive, that there is a lot involved with a day that when not documented in photos would’ve just been another passing day that I perhaps felt wasn’t full of enough accomplished. I like being able to look back at the many things we did, the smiles that were had and the moments that otherwise would’ve gone unnoticed, that were picked up by a camera.

Without my camera, would I have taken note of my son’s tiny hand grabbing for my two fingers like he always does as we head out into the yard to play on the swingset because he’s just a little bit afraid of going the walk alone? Maybe not. But now, I have a photo forever to remind of the days that he wanted to hold onto mom.

The bigger thing I realized is that there are moments in this life that can be captured by nothing other than me paying attention and being present. There are instances where no photograph could capture the emotion, and no retold story could do the real thing justice. There were parts of my day today that went by without a photograph but will stay with me forever regardless. Some memories you can’t create with a picture and some memories won’t leave you simply because there is no documentation.

I had to make a trip to the doctor today and my son came along. The appointment was right at his crankiest time of day because it was when he’d like to have been napping. I had to have an ultrasound done to check on some concerns (no, I’m not pregnant!). I walked into the office and sat my son in a chair while I got situated and he started to scream. I had to get my visit over with and there wasn’t much I could do but listen to the poor little guy cry until it was done I thought it would just take a few minutes but I was wrong. It was a 2 part process and the first part lasted a few minutes. After the few minutes of crying, I asked if I could hold my crying cutie and they said yes. While they went to get the doctor to move onto the next part of the exam, I was handed my boy.

My little man curled up in my arms, not crying anymore but still sniffling that uncontrollable sniffle that comes after a good hard cry. He wiggled around a little, smeared some baby snot on my shoulders and rested his head on me. I held him close, stroked his head and whispered, “Hey Buddy, this is where I was the very first time I saw you.” Then gently kissed the back of his head. He sniffled, sighed, and buried his head into me, tightened his tiny little hands around my neck and fell fast asleep.

He continued to sleep while they finished the exam, being the comfort I needed at a time of worry and stress. A moment that I could not have dreamed up more perfectly. A moment no camera could have captured the essence of.

Isn’t this what life is really about? Moments of connection and love. Those are things that all the money in the world can’t buy and all the stuff we hold onto in the name of keeping memories can’t compete with. And sometimes it’s about putting the camera down and living in a moment to remember forever.