Remodeling This Life

I think some people, when giving a small amount to work with, get stuck. I’m not defending their lack of creativity. But people who are frugal are always on the hunt for the best value vs price ratio.

Some people can only think that way at a higher price range. That’s unfortunate because they lucked out with your gift.

Middle Way´s last blog post..Being Tested

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I also think that a lot of people just aren’t creative. They just can’t imagine what they can do nice with 10.00.

I’d be willing to bet your recipient thinks you went over the limit. You didn’t you were just thoughtful and probably because you are already somewhat of an expert at frugailty.

And look on the bright side – chocolate is always a good thing : )

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I have this war within myself all the time. Sure, it’s the thought that counts and the fact that someone chose to give me a gift at all is thought in and of itself. Still, I do get disappointed when I’ve put a lot of thought into a gift and then get something that completely doesn’t fit who I am (like when I get wine as a gift – I don’t drink and there’s no one in my life who doesn’t know that). Or when I buy a $5 – $10 gift for each of your five children for Christmas and you don’t get my son – your nephew – anything at all. Whoops, going off on my own rant there!

I tend to think that it’s less a matter of being cheap and more a matter of thoughtlessness and laziness. But perhaps it’s all three.

BeThisWay´s last blog post..Win a Dinner a Week for a Year at Pollo Tropical!

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emily, I totally understand where you are coming from!

Without fail, I always get a rotten gift when I participate in anykind of swap or gift exchange. Most recently, I did a preppy holiday gift swap and the person I was swapping with contacted me via email. She gave me a list {yup, a list} of what she likes, dislikes, favorite colours etc. I then wrote her back, gave her some broad stokes of what I like.

I had some hope that maybe my string of bad gifts was over. I mean, she wrote to ask me what I like… so I didn’t think I was being naive.

I am a designer + I put a lot of thought into her package. Luckily, I can make a lot of homemade, custom stuff to give. {I see this as being frugal, not cheap} What did I receive? A box filled with five $1 items from the christmas tree store. {she left the price tags on the bottom} They were not even wrapped, just the tissue you get from the store.

Now, I wasn’t upset that they were $1. I was upset because there was absolutely no thought or effort put into the swap. What happened to my list? Trust me, nothing I received was on my list. Just random $1 items not even wrapped nicely. In a way, I felt like she set me up… you know?

Anyway, she made out like a bandit. My husband keeps asking me when will I learn…{seriously, I have done about five blog swaps and always receive crap} but I’m an optimist and believe that someday… I’ll actually participate in some exchange or swap and get something decent Plus, I do it because I enjoy doing them and you just never know if something good will come of it… you know? But to be honest, I still get disappointed

If you go to my blog, you can see the package I put together

kat \ Taylor Made designs´s last blog post..Sledding!

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This was cheap and unthoughtful. It was because she signed up to do a $10 gift exchange and did not spend the $10.00. That is Cheap, and rude for not doing your part in what you signed up to do.
Now Those of us that are frugal and good at it will of course give better gifts then we will receive because we shop hard for that $10 and get stuff that would cost allot of people more then $10. But regardless of that the person should have spent the required $10. And panicking at picking out a gift exchange gift isn’t valid if you receive a list of ideas that are within the required price range that the person wanted.
A homemade gift is great if the value of it is the price range that you agreed to.
we ran into this with our girl scout gift exchange my daughter gives a great gift because it was on sale. And she get a $1.00 store pen in return which would have been fine if the price limit was $1.00 Little kids don’t get this at all and just want there stuff they brought back.
Emily I am with you on this.

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Is it possible she was re-gifting? Before I make any more observations, let me preface this by saying I have never participated in a gift-swap before, so take this for what it’s worth. I could be completely off. That being said, if there is a $10 limit, that doesn’t imply that you can’t spend less, it means you can’t spend more. It’s to keep people from overspending, no? Some people can choose to go right up to the limit, but it’s not compulsory. When I was involved in a playgroup, there were moms who were extremely active, organizing all sorts of activities, hosting at their house all the time, etc., and there were those who did the bare minimum to stay in the group. That’s just how people are. Some put their heart and soul into everything, and others do the bare minimum. It doesn’t mean they’re bad people. They’re just not as detail-oriented. They’re probably patting themselves on the back for doing anything at all! I understand your point-of-view, but I wouldn’t take it so personally.

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don’t you think you are being a little harsh? so sorry you didn’t get what you think you deserve, but who knows what this woman’s financial circumstances are like? frugal? cheap? i don’t know… the first word that came to mind was not about her, but about you: greedy.

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I concur with all those that came before me …. but I would add a thought for the anti-gift giver … what if things had fallen apart for her that week – you know the cat died, the car got stolen, the credit card was maxed out … I’m just saying ’stuff happens’. Where you make the difference is in how you react to it, within yourself personally and privately.

Now you have a crappy gift and are upset – a double negative … so cool you made biccies for the chocs to go on – see silk purse out of a sow’s ear ….

I only say this as today my darling girls gave me a wee birthday morning tea. One bought me flowers from the supermarket, one an ornament for xmas, one some chocs wrapped in a lovely waffle tea towel and one nothing but a hug. The first one has four boys to get off to a new school year, the second made the ornament out of bits in her cupboard, the third is cash strapped and re-gifted me the tea towel I had wrapped her pressie in last Sept – we all had a good laugh at that one – it will become a standard inclusion now … and the fourth is just spreading herself too thin and only got the xmas letter out last week – hee hee – love those girls.

Maybe if a relationship of substance had been a precurser to the giift exchange you might have just shrugged and gone ‘oh well’.

And in closing – sorry – I think you should do it again next year … afterall the joy is in the giving – le

le´s last blog post..Brotherly Love

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I’ve had this happen to me. It is just plain tacky!

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I think your example was a perfect illustration of the difference between cheap and frugal. And also the importance of being thoughtful and creative, no matter the price point. Great post, thanks for sharing.

Kimm´s last blog post..Saturday Shout-Outs

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Hello all…first time here. I saw the link from Almost Frugal on Twitter. A good discussion. When I was younger, things like this would, indeed, have felt like a slap in the face. Now that I am well-seasoned, I do realize that most people mean well, but that so much goes on behind the scenes that we do not know about. I do try to give the benefit of the doubt, unless an insult is so blatant that it is purely that: an insult.

Karen

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Your gift was very thoughtful and I would have loved to have received it. But in defense of this mother … if she’s shopping at the Dollar store for a gift then there is a reason why and it’s probably not because she’s cheap. Be happy for the chocolate and thankful you have $10 in your pocket. You both joined this Mom’s group for friendship and not gifts.

Charlotte´s last blog post..Let The Veil Down

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Cheap to me is this – when you go out with friends to lunch or dinner, you sit there and figure out what you ate, down to the penny. that’s cheap. sharing a meal is enjoyment – it is worth something. cheap is spending money on yourself, but never leaving a good tip for someone else. cheap is worrying about money that other’s make from you – the yardman, the cleaners. cheap people are always complaining about bills for labor. always. cheap is trying to get out of paying something you owe someone for.

cheap is the opposite of giving. I happen to be married to the most giving man in the world. He would give his last dime to someone else if they needed it, or if they had done some work for him. he would never think to try to get someone to do work for less, or cheaper. cheap.

cheap has nothing to do with being frugal. frugal is buying clothes for next winter, at the end of the season when it’s all on sale. frugal is doing something yourself instead of paying someone else to do it for you.

joni Webb´s last blog post..Belgian Design – Hot, Hot, Hot!

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I always put a lot of thought into gifts, so I’m always disappointed when a friend gives me the umpteenth beige scarf for Xmas. Oddly enough it’s the same friend who went to the US (I’m in EU) and brought me paper handkerchieves with Lisa Simpson on (I love the character)… The scarves are expensive and dull, the handkerchieves are cheap and lovely – so it’s really not a matter of spending a lot of money.

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my first response is: why would you care or let that upset you considering your life philosophy? i was quite excited about your blog until i came upon this article and realized the gossipness of it all.

gifts should not be about price but meaningfulness, thus the concept of gift exchange for set price don’t really make sense. i am surprise that you have even participated.

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