Trust

I have changed my mind. I said as the new year arrived that I don’t make new year’s resolutions. That is partially true. I haven’t gone and made a new year’s resolution. I think every day is a new opportunity for change, not just January 1st.

So I’ve made a resolution and it has nothing to do with losing weight, getting organized or quitting any bad habits. My resolution is to trust myself.

Over the past year, I have heard occasionally that I am a good writer. At my grandmother’s funeral a few weeks ago, I wrote something and spoke. I hate speaking publicly but I love writing and I love writing most when the words pour out of my heart about someone or something that I love. My brother helped me edit my writing, by which I mean, he read it and approved it without making any changes. I love my brother.

He told me he wants me to be a writer. To really believe in myself and write something – anything – for people to read and enjoy so they can see my gift. See? Isn’t he special? He made me promise, and promise I did.

I love writing. I always have loved writing. But I have never trusted myself and my ability enough to believe and anyone would want to read what I have to say. And when I started this blog, it seemed a way to hide behind my writing and when people were reading it, I convinced myself it was because of my content and what I was writing about and not necessarily me that they were here because of. I still don’t know the answer to that, but I am going to trust in myself more that my words are worth reading. My heart is worth sharing. I don’t know if that means things will change around here, or if I will branch out from here or what it really all means. But by trusting myself and believing in my words and my ability to put them down, I may just find the answers I am looking for.

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