On Grace and Graciousness
January 14, 2009 at 11:51 pm , by Emily
One of the nicest compliments I have received in my life came about 8 years ago from a family member. Said person emailed my mother to tell her that “there is a grace and beauty in all Emily does”. I have received comments from people about things like my sense of humor, my height (I work really hard at being tall), my various abilities, etc…but this one stood out. Grace. Beauty. Who doesn’t want those things said about them and the things they do? I’ve heard other times that I handle myself gracefully in some not so ideal situations.
There came a time that I lost this grace, but I think that I am slowly getting it back. Or at least I was. Recently, my life has become way less than graceful. Since the holiday break, I’ve been scattered, disorganized and feel like I am fumbling toward…something. Key word being fumbling. Tripping. Stumbling. Those work too.
There are valid reasons for this. We have a ginormous remodeling project going on that has caused nothing short of mayhem in the finished areas of our house. Stacks of bins, homeless furniture. It’s madness. And it’s causing me to lose my grace. I am grumpy, disorganized, frustrated. It’s seeping into all areas of me right now. I am mostly frustrated that I am so set in my simple, streamlined ways that I have not been flexible enough to roll with this as well as I thought I would before we started this project. Grace means easy, effortless, flowing. That’s usually me, but not right now.
Enter graciousness.
I am quite a forgiving person. I am quick to compliment and also quick to shrug off when others put themselves down. When I visit a friend and she says “sorry for the mess!” I am quick to reply “What mess? Everything looks fabulous!” and I mean it. I really truly see those that I love as fabulous – flaws and all. I am fiercely loyal and unconditionally love my friends and family.
Yet here I am completely lacking any sense of graciousness and unconditional love for myself. I am not letting myself have a disorganized (however temporary) home that isn’t how I would like it to be at the moment. I have to be thoughtful and gracious with myself just like my friends are for me and like I am for them. Since when can’t I treat myself as well as I treat others? They support me and love me even if I have an imperfect home. Perhaps a little bit more because I have an imperfect home. Perfection is hard to keep up with.
For today, for this week, for the next couple of months, for as long as necessary, I need to remind myself that my grace is not found in what is around me but how I am to others and extends to so much more in my life. I deserve to be a bit more forgiving of myself and need to continue to live gracefully even when it’s not easy. I need to embrace the imperfections, love the process and appreciate the road I am on, knowing that the imperfect is what is making it all a little bit more beautiful.
Melissa at The Inspired Room is hosting A Beautiful Life today. Please check out other entries and feel free to join in!
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by neimanmarxist
On January 15, 2009 at 8:45 am
a great reminder when our inner perfectionist tells us that it can never be enough. we think you’re fabulous.
neimanmarxist´s last blog post..What Frugality Means To Me
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by erin
On January 15, 2009 at 9:37 am
Amen Emily! You are an insightful friend and you do shine with grace and beauty.
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by Nicki at Domestic Cents
On January 15, 2009 at 9:49 am
That is a lovely compliment to receive. I have a hard time giving myself grace too. It’s interesting you point that out. It’s so easy to give grace to others sometimes that I don’t realize I’m not giving myself any.
Nicki at Domestic Cents´s last blog post..Useful Portions
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by melissa @ the inspired room
On January 15, 2009 at 10:43 am
Beautiful, Em! Love your perspective and the lovely way you express it!
melissa @ the inspired room´s last blog post..Home Decorating: The Beauty of Taking Your Time
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by Chiot's Run
On January 15, 2009 at 11:17 am
So true! We often think we’ll be happier with a clean house. But I’ve learned to let it go, I know I’ll enjoy writing that letter, reading that book, or spending that time with someone I love, more than if I had spent that hour making sure my house was spotless. Not that I have a super messy house, but sometimes only cleaning every two weeks is worth it!
Chiot’s Run´s last blog post..BRRRR, It’s Cold Outside
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by MrsMoneyMerge
On January 15, 2009 at 12:03 pm
They say that awareness of a problem is the first step in solving it. I admire you for being able to step outside of your grumpiness, take a deep breath, share about it on your blog and make a conscious decision to change it! When I get like that (more frequently than I would like!) I just get stuck there. Next come blame and anger, at others and then at myself. Your post is an inspiration!
MrsMoneyMerge´s last blog post..Is the “Law of Attraction” Just Hype??
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by Margaret
On January 15, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Try being kind to yourself just one day at a time and you will get your grace back, take care, Margaret
Margaret´s last blog post..Who Are Your Heroes?
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by Ashley @ Wide Open Wallet
On January 15, 2009 at 9:52 pm
Amen! You need protection from perfection.
Ashley @ Wide Open Wallet´s last blog post..Grocery Store Mind Games
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by Sandy
On January 16, 2009 at 10:48 am
That last sentence grips my heart! Perfection cannot be achieved, learning to love and appreciate the process is totally doable! Beautifully stated. Wishing you a grace filled weekend!
Sandy´s last blog post..A Beautiful Life Goals & Sassy Storage Box Tutorial…
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by Squawkfox
On January 16, 2009 at 11:04 am
You are stunning in body and spirit. Your posts exemplify grace and generosity. Hugs.
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by Courtney
On January 18, 2009 at 10:18 am
What a lovely post. Thank you for sharing what I know I also feel a lot of the time.
Courtney´s last blog post..His birthday, my birth day
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by Sara at On Simplicity
On January 20, 2009 at 12:53 am
Yes, please be gracious to yourself! Any time you lose your patience because of the chaos around you, just imagine dozens of your readers giving you a big, mushy hug. (In the most non-stalker sense of the word, of course!). You are fabulous, even at your roughest, most unkempt moments.
Sara at On Simplicity´s last blog post..Giving up Sacred Cows
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