On Grace and Graciousness

One of the nicest compliments I have received in my life came about 8 years ago from a family member. Said person emailed my mother to tell her that “there is a grace and beauty in all Emily does”. I have received comments from people about things like my sense of humor, my height (I work really hard at being tall), my various abilities, etc…but this one stood out. Grace. Beauty. Who doesn’t want those things said about them and the things they do? I’ve heard other times that I handle myself gracefully in some not so ideal situations.

There came a time that I lost this grace, but I think that I am slowly getting it back. Or at least I was. Recently, my life has become way less than graceful. Since the holiday break, I’ve been scattered, disorganized and feel like I am fumbling toward…something. Key word being fumbling. Tripping. Stumbling. Those work too.

There are valid reasons for this. We have a ginormous remodeling project going on that has caused nothing short of mayhem in the finished areas of our house. Stacks of bins, homeless furniture. It’s madness. And it’s causing me to lose my grace. I am grumpy, disorganized, frustrated. It’s seeping into all areas of me right now. I am mostly frustrated that I am so set in my simple, streamlined ways that I have not been flexible enough to roll with this as well as I thought I would before we started this project. Grace means easy, effortless, flowing. That’s usually me, but not right now.

Enter graciousness.

I am quite a forgiving person. I am quick to compliment and also quick to shrug off when others put themselves down. When I visit a friend and she says “sorry for the mess!” I am quick to reply “What mess? Everything looks fabulous!” and I mean it. I really truly see those that I love as fabulous – flaws and all. I am fiercely loyal and unconditionally love my friends and family.

Yet here I am completely lacking any sense of graciousness and unconditional love for myself. I am not letting myself have a disorganized (however temporary) home that isn’t how I would like it to be at the moment. I have to be thoughtful and gracious with myself just like my friends are for me and like I am for them. Since when can’t I treat myself as well as I treat others? They support me and love me even if I have an imperfect home. Perhaps a little bit more because I have an imperfect home. Perfection is hard to keep up with.

For today, for this week, for the next couple of months, for as long as necessary, I need to remind myself that my grace is not found in what is around me but how I am to others and extends to so much more in my life. I deserve to be a bit more forgiving of myself and need to continue to live gracefully even when it’s not easy. I need to embrace the imperfections, love the process and appreciate the road I am on, knowing that the imperfect is what is making it all a little bit more beautiful.

Melissa at The Inspired Room is hosting A Beautiful Life today. Please check out other entries and feel free to join in!

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