I have tried to articulate how I feel today in so many ways but it’s just not coming out right. I want to say how important it is to pay attention to things that matter in your life – people, feelings, experiences – and not worry about those that don’t – stuff.
But I say those things a lot and today needs to be different, more, something else. There are times I realize that sometimes no matter what we do, how much we save, how much we plan, that bad things happen which we have no control over. Pinching pennies makes me feel like I have some control. Like it will help me someday if/when something bad happens.
But when it comes to life – the threat of someone losing it – what does money mean? What does stuff mean? Nothing. Sure, I may have more that I can pay until it runs out and I am buried in bills and sorrow all at once. I won’t stop planning, I won’t stop paying attention to the little stuff. But I will realize more at the end of the day that those things aren’t truly going to change that bad things will happen.
It only takes one moment for me to realize that anything that I can think of in my life that is “bad” is anything but. I have health, comfort, opportunity, love, laughter, family and friends. I have support. I have all those things and yes I would still have them tomorrow if something terrible happened but they’d all feel different. I might laugh with a little less ease. I might love with a little more fear. I might save with a little less vigor. I might live a little more, knowing how fragile that gift is.
I think I felt the same way after the granddaughter of a family friend passed away. Suddenly, experiences meant so much more to me than anything else – I wanted to experience things with my family so we would always have the memories no matter what happened. Sometimes experiences require money or “stuff” but they certainly don’t have to. Please know that I’m thinking of you!
Alison´s last blog post..Just Wondering
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This is a brilliant entry. You articulated very clearly something that I have been feeling of late, only it seemed a great deal more elusive. Your words are so comforting and clarifying. Keep writing. I know I’ll keep coming back for more.
Thank you so, so much for sharing this.
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Earlier this evening, I visited a friend (and coworker) who has been battling cancer. He’s been at home for the last couple of months, hoping to return after Christmas. And, visiting him – I was reminded that no matter how much we save, how much we plan, how much stuff we accumulate – in the end, what matters is our friendships, our family, those we love.
I still think it’s important to save. It’s a great way to ensure a future that is not ridden with debt. Yet, I also see there is some balance – so that we can have moments. Whatever those moment are for us, individually. And, maybe, sometimes…that means spending a little more than planned to do something that will be a lasting memory…
Thank you, Emily…for this…
Lance´s last blog post..Kindness Comes In Small Gestures
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This was a beautiful reflection. Thank you.
Nicki´s last blog post..Doll Clothes For Christmas
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Hey, Em. Sorry to hear you are going through some rough times…I can relate. While everyone around me is healthy and happy, sometimes the enormity of stress in just figuring out how to live can paralyze me! The next number of months with our move hold a lot of uncertainty for us…and uncertainty is what makes me feel so unsettled. It takes a lot of courage and effort to move past the fears and uncertainty to look at all the good we have in life. Not everything is within our control and we just have to go with the flow.
Take care and have a great weekend!
melissa @ the inspired room´s last blog post..Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Holiday Linky!
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Thank you for such a thoughtful post.
It’s nice to read about people like you who care about the simple, yet important aspects of life – family, love and memories shared.
Hugs!
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Thanks for the amazing post. I think I can relate — my boyfriend had major surgery this week and we are waiting for some test results now. For several months, I’ve been so focused on getting out of debt and developing a frugal lifestyle — but I’ve forgotten to give thanks for the small moments that make life matter. I hope you are hanging in there (and making Christmas cookies)!
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