Your Stuff Is Talking About You
My post last week in which I babbled about stuff prompted a reply from deepali at her blog asking what are you trying to say?. This reminded me of a couple other posts I’ve read and enjoyed on other blogs like Social Proof and Flying Without a Net at On Simplicity and also You Are Not Your Stuff, Your Stuff Is Not You at My Two Dollars.
So, the consensus seems to be that our stuff doesn’t define us. But we have to face that what we choose to buy, the things we surround ourselves with and how we live do speak things about us. They tell people who meet us things about us. The point that I like from paradigm shifted is that we have to purposefully choose to make those things meaningful. If we really take into consideration what something says about us and decide if it is speaking truthfully about who we are deep down before acquiring it, that is a step in the direction of being true to who we are.
As I replied in the comments to her, there are things that we can think of ourselves and try to portray in our decisions about lifestyle and objects that surround us, but we can’t control what other people’s impressions of those things will be. Some people will think one thing of what I have and another person could think something entirely different.
Which is why I think it’s so important to stay true to yourself. You can’t please everyone. You can’t force everyone to see you for what you are trying to say about yourself. At the end of the day, yes, our stuff talks about us. But I refuse to get hung up on what my stuff says to each individual around me. My opinion of myself matters most. If my things reflect who I feel I am and what I want to be, along with what my values are, that is what matters above anyone else’s opinion.
What do you say? Feel free to chime in with your thoughts about how we must battle the influence of others on our choices. It is, afterall, much easier to say that others don’t influence who we are or how we choose to live than to live it.
I can’t please everyone? Why not?
Thanks for the mention, appreciate it.
Davids last blog post..Sunday Money Roundup - Fall Is Definitely Here Edition.
Yes, it really is true Emily. Our stuff doesn’t define us, but you are right, it does talk. It just isn’t always reflecting what people think it is. Too bad people think so much about our stuff! They are often times so mistaken about what it means or doesn’t mean!
Happy bad awful day,
Melissa
melissa @ the inspired rooms last blog post..Fall Front Porches: Get Your Cameras Ready!
I’m fighting a one woman battle in our house against stuff, we just have too much and we don’t need it. In fact I’m semi-dreading Christmas as yet again I’m going to sound like an awful mother when I ask people for book tokens for our daughter rather than the usual ton of plastic crap. She invariably plays with once and then never looks again and it’s just such a waste of money. Book tokens though can be rationed throughout the year and she gets far more pleasure from them overall.
But as you say other people’s impressions matter and they’d rather get her ’stuff’ than something useful.
Liz x
Liz@VioletPosys last blog post..10k Race for Life - Ickworth Park
hum! I’ve been meaning to write a post about that post myself. consumption is inevitable. but the form of consumption we elect is certainly…. something that we choose. i believe that our aesthetic capability represents the furthest reaches of our human faculties (hello, too much time in grad school reading romantic philosophers) . And in that regard I have got to agree with you and deepali that your stuff says things about you- you can just choose to make those statements in a more or less alienated/alienating way. and now i’ll be on my pedantic way.
great post today.
neimanmarxists last blog post..The Command Center
Part of what I think about you reflects on me - my own perspective and experience colors my opinions. And part of it reflects on you - sweeping generalizations are not entirely inaccurate. I think you are right to say that you shouldn’t let your stuff define you, but I think it’s hard not to. But more importantly, *you* should define your stuff (so that it talks about you accurately).
As an example, I strongly believe in fair trade and social justice. So I buy my (organic, single-origin, shade-grown) coffee from a coop in Central America. I rarely drink any other coffee. People comment - they say that I must be very picky about my coffee. True.
I want the image I project to accurately represent me. I choose my “stuff” accordingly. Why does it matter? Because it’s very human to care about what others think, and we all do care, no matter how much we like to think we don’t. I will fully admit that I care about what people think about me, partly because I want people to like me. But I also care about setting an example for positive change. And I can’t do that if my stuff is talking smack about me.
deepalis last blog post..the great debate
Thanks for the discourse, everyone! deepali, I definitely agree with you on what you’ve said here. Since it’s clear our stuff talks about us and we do care what others think, it is truly important to make sure those things we have and do reflect our values and who we truly are.
I also like the point you’ve made that how people perceive us not only reflects on us but that opinion reflects on them. Perhaps if I got better at thinking if a person doesn’t accurately see me for what I am, that it isn’t just about me, that is about them also.
You know, I was watching one of those “house hunting” shows a few nights ago, and this couple was looking to move into a bigger house because, seriously, all the woman’s Tupperware didn’t fit into her cabinets. Now, nobody gets between me and my Tupperware, either, but I do think there comes a point where you have to maybe pass some of those dishwasher-safe treasures along to the next gal and fit your stuff to your circumstances, rather than vice-versa.
Having said that, though, I admit that I did make assumptions about this woman based on her possessions, and it makes me wonder how often I indulge in judgements like that–and how accurate (or not) my impressions might have been. Thanks for a thoughtful post!
kitchendoors last blog post..Menu Plan Monday
Thanks for all the input everyone, I’ve really appreciated the conversations!
@kitchendoor, I think I would have a very hard time not judging someone looking to buy a bigger house to store their tupperware in
We can be judgmental together!