What Motivates You?
When I think about the lifestyle changes I have made over the past couple of years, I can’t help but think of the things, good and bad, that have motivated my changes.
Past experiences of course color my present views. I don’t regret much in life, because even the “bad” stuff is stuff to learn from and to help make changes for the better. I am motivated by holding onto memories of times that I don’t want to experience again. I remember being $12K in credit card debt in my early twenties and digging my way out. I remember how it felt to not be able to pay for the things I needed because I was too busy buying things I wanted.
I’ve spent a lot of my days thinking that stuff is worth well more than it is. I have thought stuff can define me, make me fulfilled, bring happiness. And I’ve learned in some not so easy ways how untrue that belief was.
I have gone through bouts of trying to keep up with people at the expense of losing myself. If I am trying to be someone else, impress someone else or please someone else, there is no way, in all of that, that I, at my core, won’t get lost.
Through these experiences in my life, plus many more, I can look back and know what I do and don’t want to do to make a better future for myself. I am motivated to live my life the way I am now - simply and frugally - because I have been on the other side, and for me, it isn’t a way I want to live anymore. I don’t want to live beyond my means in hopes that someone else will like me for my “stuff”.
Do I see others and admire who they are and how they live? Of course. Do I emulate the things that I admire? Sometimes. I try not to fall into the trap of doing things that aren’t me, even if they’re things that I consider admirable and good. I still have to be me.
It’s been a long road, or at least it feels like it has been, to get to this place. But it’s empowering and motivating to finally feel like I know who I am, what I value, and am confident enough to stay true to those things despite what goes on around me or what others think. I know that without my experiences, I wouldn’t be where I am today, and would certainly not appreciate it. The happiness that I’ve found in simplicity and frugality and all the amazing side benefits are a pure motivation for me to keep on my path.
What motivates you? Improving after past mistakes? Watching others make mistakes and not wanting to do the same? Having a vision of the future and a plan to get there? Seeing others that are inspiring? Maybe it’s the great feeling of accomplishment that comes after you’ve done something that feels “right” for you. I’d love to hear other people’s experiences with finding motivation to live their own authentic life.
Okay Emily, three things:
First, this is a wonderful post. It is short, but to the point.
“Do I see others and admire who they are and how they live? Of course. Do I emulate the things that I admire? Sometimes. I try not to fall into the trap of doing things that aren’t me, even if they’re things that I consider admirable and good. I still have to be me.”
That is very well said.
Second, I love your new theme. It is a lot cleaner and the look underscores your message very well.
Third, I just noticed that I’m listed under Simple Living. What a compliment. Thank you.
I guess I have a fourth, a compliment to your audience. I was looking at my analytics from the last couple of days, and from all my directed traffic, the people who get to my site from yours, stay the longest. You have a thoughtful crowd, Emily. You should be proud.
I love the same paragraph that Writer Dad mentioned!
It’s really hard to define what motivates me. In part, it’s my goals for the future. I’m very unwilling to mortgage away my future for something trivial now. It’s also about quality of life. I want to be able to be present, and I can only truly do that in a simple environment.
I think I also crave authenticity. I don’t want to be told how I should look or behave. I want to create that for myself, so I have to ignore a lot of the noise out there.
Thanks for making me think! This is one of my fave posts of yours.
Sara at On Simplicitys last blog post..Bad Timing Kills Good Habits
@WriterDad, That was my favorite line too
And thank YOU for the compliments. I can direct people your way but it’s you who keeps them there.
@Sara, how nice! I threw this post together yesterday before Fay was supposed to strike and didn’t really get to edit or go over it the way I usually would. Maybe that’s a good thing
I like your points about mortgaging away your future, being present by creating a simple environment, and craving authenticity.
Love the new site design. Any chance you can move your tags/categories up above the ads? But I’m just picky.
I am with you (and Sara) on authenticity. I think it’s important to be true to who you are, and at the same time extremely difficult to figure out (what with everyone telling you who you should be).
As for what motivates me? Love.
deepalis last blog post..the full life vs the empty life
@deepali, well they can’t go above the one, but I removed a few just for you
so now categories are up higher. I still have some sidebar fixing to do and you’ve motivated me to do it when I have a bit more time. And ah yes, love. A good motivator!
My motivation is crushing the biggest obstacle keeping my from living my best life, MY MIND, to be more specific everything I used to be afraid of. I am motivated to conquer my fears and destroy any self-limiting belief I have. So far these to things have lead me to create habits and new ways of thinking and working that have completely changed my life.
Another big motivation I have is: Not repeating the same mistakes, I have to remember that certain events keep coming back until you learn your lesson.
Thanks for sharing,
-Tabs
Tabss last blog post..Five Myths about Getting Rich - Science of Getting Rich Levnow Series
Aww, how sweet. But don’t remove the ones generating $$! Just move them lower.
And funny enough, I changed themes this week too!
deepalis last blog post..the full life vs the empty life
hi! i see you’ve done some rearranging! it looks like you went from french country style to zen minimalist
i like! what motivates me? i want contentment to be a frequent caller and regret to make himself scarce indeed. i fear i am a worse person when i am doing the things i know are not right for me. so to be my best self, i have to act the way she would! btw., i’ve been reading some of your back posts. your journey has been quite extraordinary 
your resolve and clarity of vision are to be commended.
neimanmarxists last blog post..Using Up
I’ve been down the road of thinking that what I had was never good enough. Especially when my kids were young and I was part of a play group with moms that all really did have more. Every week I came home to my small house compared to their huge beautiful homes. It was a hard time for me. Now, I turned around and won’t go down that road anymore. What I have now is more than enough. It is all a matter of perspective. What motivates me? me. This is who I am, where I am at…and I like it.
Denises last blog post..gathering…little by little
@deepali, i love your new theme too!
@neimanmarxist, that’s me, a zen minimalist
My journey has been extraordinary in many ways when I think about it. But for me, it’s my normal, so only when I think of it in context of others does it seem not so ordinary. I appreciate the commending. I went back through some old stuff today and used it to inspire myself as I have been feeling way uninspired lately. I like the simplicity of acting the way your best self would!
@Denise, playgroups can be brutal for things like competition on everything from baby milestones to home size. I have been lucky enough to find a really fabulous group locally but I feel so fortunate because I have heard so many horror stories. I would imagine a lot of us flail a bit when we’re first starting out and trying to figure out who we are, what we want and what things are actually worth measuring ourselves against.
Emily, I have been reading your blog for a couple of months and truly enjoy reading your words. I have found that blogging, and I am not writing only reading is so therapeutic. So many times I discover that others are going through similar feelings or thoughts or experiencing similar situations. Its encouraging to me and others. I am remodeling my life after a couple big loses: father in ‘99 and business in ‘07. Thanks for the inspirations.
Steves last blog post..twice-baked bowl
[...] at Remodeling this Life wrote an inspiring post about her motivation to stay frugal. This is a great reminder of what lies ahead for those of us still working to get out of debt, and [...]
As I’ve gotten older, it’s become a lot easier to just be comfortable with who I am. And it’s such a relief! Now I don’t feel bad if I say “I can’t afford it” or “I just don’t want to do it”. But, again, I think that comes with age. I’ve accepted myself and know I’m on the right track. Plus, now with the economy on such a downward spiral, there are so many more people who are starting to wake up and “get it”.
Kelly Faysashs last blog post..Life. Only Crazier.
Well, as you know, I am a fan of authentic living. That was abundantly clear in the way my daughter and I handled her wedding. We wanted it to be real, something we had our hearts in and did out of love rather than out of a desire to impress. To me, I am motived by being real. It makes my whole life feel BETTER when I don’t pretend things are different than they are, better than they really are, or I pay more to impress more. I love to live in the moment and experience it fully. It is hard for me to do that when I am pretending to be something I am not.
Ok, Emily, I finally redirected my blog to my own domain. YIKES! Horrified what this will do to my blog. Hopefully it will all work itself out and be just fine! Love how your blog is looking, by the way!
Happy day,
Melissa
melissa @ the inspired rooms last blog post..Sweet Escape: Wedding Candy
[...] 7. RemodelingThisLife presents What Motivates You? [...]
@Steve - I think blogs are the same way - very therapeutic. If I was only writing and didn’t read others, I don’t think it would be the same. I love reading what others are doing, feeling, going through. A cool way to make the impersonal internet personal again.
@Kelly - it is a comforting place to get to when you finally do, isn’t it?
@Melissa - you are so right about living authentically and having that show in all you do. I think that it’s often apparent when someone is doing or saying something that isn’t really them. It comes through. You are certainly one that the beauty and love of everything comes through in what you do. The wedding looks like it was fantastic and truly authentic, like everything else you do!
[...] at Remodeling This Life kicked off a great discussion on What Motivates You, while The Wisdom Journal provided 20 Questions to Help You Overcome Barriers and Find Your [...]