Wanting

I read a lot about differentiating between wants and needs when it comes to healthy personal finance and frugality. I read about being happy with what you have instead of longing for more. I agree with it. As an overall direction in my life, it’s one I follow.

I look at my life and things that I want. I don’t just have a roof over my head. I have a home that hubby and I have remodeled to how we want it. I don’t just put food on the table, but I choose healthy foods that my family wants to eat. I have a computer with internet connection because I want it. I have clothes and shoes that I have bought simply because I want them, not because I needed them. And I love them and wear them with glee.

The fact is, we all want things and we all find ways to acquire those things when we find we really want them. I am not going to deny myself something every single time simply because I say “Self, you don’t need that. You just want it. Now walk away.” What is so wrong with seeing something, wanting it, and proceeding to buy it? If your overall financial plan and goals have room for it, go for it, knock your bad self out and buy new shoes just because they are cute. And most of all, when you aren’t seeking happiness in the said item, what’s the harm? When you buy something because you find a usefulness of it or think it’s nice, but don’t place so much emphasis on it that you feel that eternal happiness will come in a pair of shoes, it’s not materialism.

Yes, finding the beauty in what life has to offer that doesn’t require a debit card is important. Yes, finding the ability to say no is also important. But it’s also important to feel like there is wiggle room, space to just do and have a few things that we want no matter how unnecessary. Now that I have found a peace within myself about things and their relation to my self worth (pretty much that they are unrelated), it has changed how I feel about when I buy something. It’s okay to want it. It’s okay to buy it. It’s not okay to do it over and over and over again seeking fulfillment from objects.

I have found ways to be creative when there is something I desire but I don’t want to pay full price. I hunt around for deals online, or check thrift stores, or try my hand at making something that is creative and just as nice. I decorate frugally but I suppose I could just not decorate at all - isn’t a beautiful home just a want, not a need?

Allowing myself to realize that by saying yes sometimes and doing things or buying things that I desire isn’t something to be riddled with guilt about, but merely a part of my life that brings a smile occasionally, what is the harm? I have no debt, I have made a nice, simple little life with my family. I am not a bad frugalite or simpleton just because I may occasionally pay for something just because I want it.

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August 6th, 2008 | Category: Frugal Home | Subscribe to comments | Leave a comment | Trackback URL

sharon:
August 6th, 2008 at 2:35 pm

Just two comments on this great post - which shows you have matured through the needs and wants of this world. Think of all the millions who never get to that point.

I guess my one thought on why I discipline myself to look critically at my wants, is to share with so many that I see in even more need than myself.

And, as far as making my home comfortable or homey, I have watched others who open their homes for hospitality, and seeing its use as a tool to encourage and comfort others. I know that has been my goal for my small home — but I sometimes find myself falling into the trap that says “if only I had a bigger area to entertain….”

sharons last blog post..Lights out

Kelly from Almost Frugal:
August 6th, 2008 at 3:03 pm

Great post. I especially like the last two paragraphs and how you summed it all up.

Kelly from Almost Frugals last blog post..How to Schedule Time and Obligations

Emily:
August 6th, 2008 at 3:25 pm

@ Sharon - even as I was writing this post I was thinking of how so many with less live - and it does make me more disciplined. I find it easier to be disciplined 99% of the time if I allow myself more freedom occasionally to just splurge. And I too, often find those thoughts creeping in. I love a comfortable, cozy hospitable home and sometimes I think it could be moreso if it was just bigger, but I hope the house and me make up for it in charm! LOL!

@Kelly, thank you!!

PT:
August 6th, 2008 at 3:36 pm

“knock your bad self out”

oh, I will.

Seriously, great post.

PTs last blog post..Our Financial Goals: Savings and Debt Reduction

Denise:
August 6th, 2008 at 4:55 pm

wow, thanks for this great post. I treated myself to a coffee today just for this reason. I didn’t need it, just wanted it. I enjoyed every sip of it.

Denises last blog post..and he told two friends and they told two friends and so on and so on

Amy:
August 6th, 2008 at 7:04 pm

I grew up a poor farmer’s daughter. I went thru the “need more stuff” in a big way after college. I am so lucky that my parents made education a priority, but I am also lucky to have my roots. I lived the spend-a-holic life in the last 10 years, and now I am so happy to be frugal again. The occasional splurge is much more worth it when you feel as you really deserve the treat. I have found that living frugally is not at all the sacrifice I once thought it to be. If anything, we have more now than ever before. And more time to enjoy what we have. Not that we need anything more than the basics. Thanks for the great post.