Brutal Decluttering
Last week, before I left on vacation, I went crazy decluttering. I think by now, people are going to think that my house is one big clutter-ville. It’s not. But I have a lot of stuff, in closets, in drawers, etc…upon first glance, it’s all neat and tidy and wonderful but I still have boxes and bins and drawers that are holding things for me that I just don’t need anymore.
I spent the first little while of this decluttering bonanza thinking what a fool I have been to have kept any of these things, to have held onto things that have little or no value to me anymore. Then I realized it. That is just it. They don’t hold value to me anymore. It was okay to keep them when they did mean something to me and it’s okay to part with them now because they don’t. Whether it’s tablecloths that I once loved but just aren’t my style anymore or shoes that aren’t practical for my life today, or clothes that are too big, too small, too whatever. I have these things because at some point in time, I loved them. I don’t have to beat myself up for having accumulated or kept them to begin with.
As I grow, my priorities and tastes will change. Things that I have today will probably be brutally slashed from my home on another declutter purge in the future. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have the things I have or keep what matters to me today. So as I continue to shift and change and want different things for my life, it’s okay to get rid of stuff that I spent money on, even stuff with only sentimental value. One day, I thought it was important to hold onto old letters from friends. I got rid of a lot of them. Not because they don’t mean anything to me today, but they mean less to me today, and I am learning and turning into someone that would rather hold onto memories than words. Think of the laughter with friends in place of the words we wrote to each other when we were little.
I also think of my mother, who is in the very laborious process of going through dozens of boxes that are her mom’s. Because not much is labeled, my mom has to assume that it all means something to her and is afraid to get rid of anything. I don’t want someone someday to go through my things and feel the need to hold onto something that means nothing to me simply because I couldn’t take the time and care to only keep around me things that make me happy and mean something to me. I am marking my photos with names and dates. I am only keeping photos that bring a smile to my face. It doesn’t lessen the value of what I don’t keep. But I am being brutal. I only want around me things that if I am not here tomorrow, someone can go through my things and know who I am and what I value by looking at them.
June 20th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Hear, hear! My dad kept everything and going through it when he passed was never-ending.
June 20th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
We did some MASSIVE decluttering recently too…our neighborhood has an annual yard sale (which is tomorrow) that gave us great incentive. I think we got a little “brutal” too…there were a couple things that were my grandmothers- nothing really valuable dollar wise or memory wise, but I was holding onto it only because it had been hers.
After asking people in my family if they wanted these things (one was a really basic latch hook rug), I figured it was time for the yard sale. I think it’s nice keeping things (like you said) that have true meaning, but I know my grandmother would think I was crazy for keeping that latch hook rug!
June 20th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
I think it’s great to be kind to yourself (and to your things) while decluttering by keeping in mind that these things were useful and had meaning at one point, even if they don’t anymore. I think you could also say a silent thank you as place these things in the “give-away” bin since they served their purpose.
June 21st, 2008 at 7:13 am
Here’s the thing, I just de-cluttered a few days ago and low and behold the house is all cluttered up again. I discovered that I need to de-clutter my children. I have too many of them…LOL
June 21st, 2008 at 10:13 pm
I totally hear you. I think most items have an expiration date, and we don’t need to get rid of them until they pass it. Good for you for being brutal!
June 22nd, 2008 at 11:52 am
I’ve been doing some decluttering too over the past week or so and it’s great to find lost treasures in the middle of papers I should never have kept. How about 2 $100 Savings Bonds? I was excited to find them and even more excited when I took them to the bank and discovered that they’d each earned about $88 in interest!
I really liked what you said about it being okay to keep things as long as they matter to you and to get rid of them when they don’t matter anymore. Too many people say that if you aren’t using it you should just get rid of it and negate the sentimental value things may hold.
June 22nd, 2008 at 7:18 pm
I tried to comment before, but it seems to have been lost in the ether.
I liked what you said about it being okay to keep things and be attached to them now but at some future point to get rid of those things because they no longer have value to you.
Too many people tell you that if you’re not using it you should just toss it now, but they’re negating the sentimental value. As long as the item has that value to you, it’s okay to keep it. And, should that ever change, you’re not locked into keeping it.
I’ve also been doing decluttering and I was thrilled to find 2 $100 Savings Bonds this past week in a box of miscellaneous papers! I was even happier when I went to the bank and discovered that they’d each earned about $88 in interest!
June 23rd, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Speaking of brutal decluttering, what comes to mind is what my Grandma was forced to do after her basement got flooded and the majority of her craft supplies had to be thrown out. That’s decluttering that she didn’t want to do, but just might have been a blessing in disguise.
June 25th, 2008 at 5:02 am
[...] at Remodeling This Life had a couple gems this week. Both Brutal Decluttering and Love and Live Happy were great reads. Emily’s personal style of writing always make her [...]
June 25th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
I really struggle with this! Holding on to things that don’t really bring me joy, mostly out of guilt for the money I spent or obligation to the person who gave the things to me.
But your post also reminded me of how I look back at the boyfriends I had when I was young. You have that time when you wonder “what was I thinking??” . . . then you realize (or I did anyway) that each relationship brought something important to me at the time, even if it didn’t last.
June 25th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
My mum’s dreading the decluttring challenge that she’ll have to tackle once my dad passes away (he’s very ill). He has kept just about every item of clothing he’s ever owned, hi fi systems that no longer work, magazines that date back to the 60s and lord only knows what else. The house is bursting at the seams with ’stuff’. I’ve no idea why he felt the need to keep everything and knowing how much my mum’s dreading the task has taught me that cluttering doesn’t only interfere with your own life but of those you leave behind so you’re very wise to not want that for others.
I’m on a brutal decluttering mission myself at the moment. It can be hard, but VERY liberating
July 25th, 2008 at 2:51 am
[...] decluttering, be kind to yourself. Remember that most of the items you’re disposing of were useful to you at one point, they’re simply no longer a reflection of who you are. At the same time, take advantage of [...]
August 25th, 2008 at 11:43 am
I’m decluttering, and the problem for me is that I have too much expensive stuff that is worth something–just not to me anymore. I have to get over some of my fetishes (dishes, glasses, anything tabletop).
My project for today is to empty yet another cupboard and be very selective about what I think I’m still in love with today. Then I’m calling Replacements Ltd. to get a little something for these items.
It’s a start.