Frugal Indulgences
I sat watching the hockey playoffs with a baby boy in my lap last night. As he snuggled and did his usual cute little things he does when he gets tired, like giving lots of hugs and kisses and giggles, I realized that I was feeling indulged. Usually, bedtime is pretty normal - curl up in bed with books and songs. Tonight, though, we made the exception for hockey. I mean, who doesn’t make exceptions for hockey?! So he laid in my lap and sipped his milk and dozed off. My daughter sat nearby doing some quiet reading and then some coloring. Hubby was snoring on the couch.
I sat there, surrounded by my sweet family, watching a sporting event on TV with little distraction and felt totally and completely indulged. Which seems funny to me because it’s not like watching TV in your own home with fuzzy reception while a baby holds you down on a chair is particularly refreshing. Or at least it seems like it shouldn’t be. But it was.
I got thinking about all the things I fool myself into thinking I am missing out on when it comes to relaxing and making time for myself. Do I really need a day at the spa to unwind and feel indulged? Or can I accomplish it much easier by unwinding with people around me who matter and enjoying watching something I love? I get pedicures from time to time. I enjoy time alone at the coffee shop sipping lattes and reading magazines full of pretty house pictures. But when I look back on my life someday, it’s not moments at the spa that I will remember as being full of joy and relaxation, it’s moments with my family, where even though I am still on-duty as mom, I let myself go a little. Bend the rules for an evening. Indulge the kids in a little bedtime fun and indulge myself in some pure, plain, simple relaxation.
A lot of times, things that we think we want or need to unwind or relax and indulge ourselves don’t turn out to be all their cracked up to be. A wise wise friend has said this perfectly another way, I enjoy the idea of some things more than the reality. I have found that it is usually the idea of bigger stuff that ends up falling short of my expectations. But there are things that feel indulging and they are all they are cracked up to be - they are fulfilling and relaxing and wonderful - and often they come with little or no price tag, which means you get to leave your guilt behind.
Whether it’s a long bubble bath after the kids are in bed or curling up outside with a good book on a sunny day, or an hour of relaxing fun in the garden, there are so many little things we can do daily to fill that need for feeling indulged - feeling like we’re doing something that is just for us, relaxing, and filling the tank back up, and the more I think about it the more I realize that little stuff can do just as well if not better when it comes to those things.
June 5th, 2008 at 8:17 am
I couldn’t agree more. I was on vacation last week, but didn’t go anywhere. DH ended up having to work last minute, so I didn’t get to spend my days with him either. I was pretty bummed about the idea of all the things I should be doing with my vacation.
But about 4 days in, I woke up before everyone else and took my coffee cup and laptop to the front porch. My youngest daughter joined me shortly after that, and we sat on the porch in our folding camp chairs sipping coffee (and her milk), listening to the birds chirp. It’s moments like that when I realize that I don’t have to go anywhere to relax except home with the family.
Thank you for sharing such a tender story.
June 5th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Usually the best thing about a spa day (or some other “relaxing activity”) is the anticipation. So if you want to motivate yourself, schedule a spa appointment for a couple of weeks out and enjoy the waiting. If you actually want to relax, I’d agree that it’s more about giving yourself permission to let things go for a day/night, regardless of where you are.
June 5th, 2008 at 9:46 am
I love reading your blog because it totally gives me a new perspective on things. You do all my thinking for me. :o)
June 5th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
I think you like hockey cuz it’s your only chance to see ICE. We, on the otherhand, watch Nascar cuz there’s never any ICE. LOL!!!
June 5th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
A wonderful post!
“Indulged” is a great word and the fact that the feeling doesn’t come from spending loads of time or money on something is a testament to the simple life.
I wrote a similar post just today if anyone’s interested (”Re-seeing those we love” http://snurl.com/2e4zw).
Again, great post! Thanks for sharing it with us.
http://www.LivSimpl.com
June 5th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
What a beautiful post. I think we can always do little things to feel indulged: get flowers for the vase in the living room, splurge on that flavored coffee so that the whole house smells like French-Vanilla each time we make it, play our favorite music in the background, light a scented candle, and so on. I think we should try to incopororate small indulgences into our lives as often as we can.
June 5th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Wise words.
Do those activites that make YOU feel refreshed, not what you think you should do. Spending a quiet evening with your family, cuddling with your son sounds absolutely cozy and relaxing!
June 6th, 2008 at 1:18 am
[...] something different, Emily wrote a beautiful post called “Frugal Indulgences” over at her blog “Remodeling Your Life”, in which she talks about the small, simple things that [...]
June 6th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
I couldn’t agree more! What a great post!
June 6th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
I’m gonna have to join the others and agree. In fact, I don’t see how anybody could possibly disagree.
When I look back, every really wonderful memory I have involves a situation that was just “for the moment”, if you understand what I mean. No huge expenses involved, no planning… just moments of sheer joy that happened to be.
June 7th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
This is so true! I need to try to remind myself of this! For instance, when people talk about vacations they go on, I sometimes think it would be nice for us to take vacations. But, whenever we do, I’m always beat and it’s never as good as I thought it would be. So often, things just sound a whole lot better than they really are.
June 7th, 2008 at 11:53 pm
Isn’t that the truth? Where do we get the idea that something HUGE and expensive will give us more pleasure than something as small as a china tea cup and a good book? Simple pleasures are great!
June 19th, 2008 at 7:36 am
[...] this Life has Frugal Indulgences. I also use these sorts of free moments with family or by myself to recharge my [...]
June 19th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
[...] This Life writes about the Frugal Indulgences. I agree, some of my most vivid memories looking back are of doing simple things with the people [...]