Not Deprived
I had someone ask me the other day if being frugal and living so simply ever gets tiring. If I ever want to just stop saying “no” to things and stop being deprived. Well, first of all, I don’t feel deprived of anything at all. Being frugal and living simply don’t mean my life is all about saying no and only worrying about how much something costs. I truly enjoy finding deals, stretching my money further and all that frugality and simplicity bring to my life. I love that being frugal makes me prioritize where my dollars go. I love that it makes me use restraint and patience, waiting to find the right deal at the right time. I love that it makes me more creative, always trying to think of a way I might be able to do the same thing for less and add uniqueness at the same time.
I am not deprived of anything that I want or need. Neither are my children or my husband. Through prioritizing and giving meaning to each and every dollar we spend, we accumulate less, experience more and make room for beauty and passion all around us. We don’t indulge in the latest gadgets and we don’t just drop large chunks of change at the first rumbling of something we might need for our home. We use patience and restraint until we find what we need for a good deal. We may not have shiny new showroom furniture in our home or grocery budgets the size of a mortgage or a playroom full of expensive storage solutions. But we use creative and thrifty ways to bring home the things we need and don’t just spend money because we can.
I like to think the values that we all learn from frugality and simplicity are very important ones. We are teaching our kids restraint, saving, patience, character, recycling, reusing, creativity - all stuff that enters our life on a daily basis by living the way we’ve chosen.
So much of life is, so often, how we choose to view it. No, we’re not deprived. Instead of looking at what we don’t have, I choose to see all that we do have, all that is abundant in our life. We’re completely full and rich. Of life, love, and happiness - all that we need.
May 19th, 2008 at 6:54 am
This is a great post. So many people have a hard time relating frugality to anything other than poverty or cheapness. As the economy sinks lower, you’ll find those same people asking you for advice on how to implement that mindset.
May 19th, 2008 at 7:36 am
People so often think of being frugal and disciplined with your finances means you give up everything that brings you joy and that you live in a box that you decorate with old newspapers. Most people don’t understand the freedom that comes with living under your means and the joy that an activity or object might bring you because you have had to wait for it, instead of just jumping out and doing/buying it.
(we are by no means “there” yet, but our attitude toward debt has changed so radically and we are SO longing for that peace that being out from under consumer debt will bring!)
May 19th, 2008 at 9:54 am
Beautifully put. Life really is how we look at it. You’re not denying yourself new things, you’re giving yourself an abundance of choices for later and extra time right now. It’s easy to say “no” to stuff when inside, it feels like a giant “yes” to freedom.
And don’t even get me started on the storage solutions meta-stuff…
May 19th, 2008 at 10:19 am
Great post. Too many people think that happiness is measured by the amount of things you have or money you spend. I was raised by my parents to live simply and frugal and have passed that on to my children. To me it means making wise choices. If I won the lottery, I would still live the same way. When my kid’s were young and wanted something I would tell them that they had to think about it for 3 days and if it was still so important then we would discuss it. So many times after 3 days they would tell me they changed their minds. And by no means were they ever deprived or feeling like they were missing something. In fact, I think they were still spoiled. But what they had wasn’t useless stuff that they had to have because Johnny down the block had it. Today’s society is knee deep in “instant gratification” which is why they are so much in debt. I’ve been out of work for 10 months now and am still surviving. Why? Because I was careful and frugal with my severance pay and my income tax refund. But I also know how long I can go and when I must return to the workforce. Thank you for this post because maybe someone will read it and realize that happiness, success, love and health cannot be bought with money. Being frugal is not being deprived but is actually being independently wealthy from what other people think and do.
Rosemary
http://her-home-blog.com
May 19th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
For various reasons, I grew up without a TV, but I don’t look on that as deprivation. I enjoy it now, but I’m sure it was better for me as a kid to be spending my time outside or reading anyway.
I grew up without Barbies and various things, but my parents would let me buy a few Littlest Pet Shop (do you remember those?)…so I did have toys.
Not having everything isn’t so bad.
May 19th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
You go girl!! Great post.
May 19th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
AWESOME! Preachin to the choir again are we? LOL!!!
May 20th, 2008 at 8:45 am
I honestly have to say that sometimes I do feel deprived. But I think that’s a result of being frugal moreso out of necessity as opposed to choice. Because currently, in some aspects of my life, I’m frugal because there’s not enough money to not be. Though it’s really not frivolous things that I feel I’m depriving myself of. More family vacations is what first comes to my mind. I do imagine that when we reach a point financially when being frugal isn’t such a need anymore that we will still live a very similar lifestyle and those feelings of deprivation won’t be there anymore. At that point, my choices will be based on my desire to live a more simple and frugal life and not on our money situation, and I think that will make a big difference.
May 20th, 2008 at 8:52 am
@Alison - you bring up a very good point - frugality out of necessity vs. choice. Yes, there are certainly things like vacations and more frivilous stuff that are fun to add into life and it can get discouraging thinking of the restraints we have based on there just not being enough money whether we want to do something or not. I also look forward to the days when it’s not as much of a necessity to be frugal but more of a choice but until then, I try to just think about all the things we do have and all the experiences we share as a family instead of what we don’t. And I know you do that too. Thanks for sharing some additional food for thought!
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June 10th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Your last two paragraphs said it all!
Nice writing!
I want to pass things/these ideas along to my grandkids now - it’s already been passed along to my kids - by example. They are quietly soaking it up