To Be Real
A few nights ago, I was reading The Velveteen Rabbit to Bug before bed. I haven’t read that book in a very long time. As I read aloud to my daughter, I was shocked at how much the story touched me as I read it as an adult versus as a child. So many children’s books have wonderful messages for people of all ages but this one just completely floored me. I am going to highlight some of the things that stood out to me.
“Real isn’t how you are made. It’s a thing that happens to you…When you are Real, you don’t mind being hurt…It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept…once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
How is that for thought provoking? Well, to me it was anyway. My daughter fell asleep a few pages into the book but I couldn’t stop reading. Out loud even. It was like I was drawn in to saying the words out loud so that I could make more sense of them and make them stick with me.
It’s so hard for me to really let go and allow myself not to get sucked in to so many things that keep me from being real. I want to feel this way and continue striving for a place of excellence within myself where I feel real - a place where I can let go of all the negative thoughts, the weaknesses, the failures, the insecurities. I don’t expect them to go away completely, I am human after all. Thinking of it in the terms laid out in this book are going to help me shake those negative things away when they creep in.
Does being Real and being able to feel a confidence in who I am and what I am come only from being loved for a long time unconditionally like the Velveteen Rabbit? Or can I find it within myself regardless of what others think and what others see and if I’m loved or not?
Being Real is hard. It’s not easy to shrug off naysayers, mean words, dislike and negativity. But what’s important to think about through those things is that not everyone will love me, not everyone will care about me, people will be mean, people will try to hurt me, bad things will happen in my life, but it’s how I choose to handle them that defines me. I want to strive daily to be and continue being real.
Gaining a trust in myself, what I believe, who I want to be is one of the most important things I am trying to accomplish in my short life. I don’t want to be superwoman. I just want to learn to love myself for who I am. I want to be real. I’ll just keep reminding myself It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time.
I enjoyed the post! The Velveteen Rabbit was a favourite of a friend of mine, but I didn’t read it till much later. Some children’s books (such as the Moomin books by Tove Jansson) are full of wonderful philosophies.
I tear up almost every time I’m reading Sofia one of her books. Most really do apply to all ages I think. I’ll have to go get the Velveteen Rabbit…I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve never read it before!
Wow! This post struck me right where it matters. I have been striving to be real and put my efforts into what really matters in this life.
I am getting back to the simpler things and letting go of all the “I should be’s” and “they expect this from me” chatter in my head.
It is wonderful to be real and just live and enjoy life with all it’s ups and downs.
The Velveteen Rabbit, The Giving Tree and The Places You Will Go are my three favorite children’s “message” books.
I’m so glad you were so affected by it, now that you’ve read it as an adult. That happens for me with so many books! It’s message fits so well with you journey you, and so many others of us are on.
I don’t ever want to stop learning, and growing. And there are so many lessons I need to learn, and then relearn, over and over throughout my life.
Wow. What a deep thinking post.
But, I would have to totally say I feel the same way.
I absolutely love this paragraph that you wrote:
Being Real is hard. It’s not easy to shrug off naysayers, mean words, dislike and negativity. But what’s important to think about through those things is that not everyone will love me, not everyone will care about me, people will be mean, people will try to hurt me, bad things will happen in my life, but it’s how I choose to handle them that defines me. I want to strive daily to be and continue being real.
I’m really trying to love and show grace and mercy in everything that I do…in dealing with my husband, children, friends and even myself. Wonderful post Emily!
I didn’t grow up being read to, since Mom went as far as 8th grade. She took care of us the best she knew how, and there were other adults, but not readers. My sister loved to read, but to herself. So I have heard of this book, I have never read it. I have been getting books for the members of my family, although we don’t have too many readers. I use to read to Jenna, and I think she reads to her little girls now too. I pick up books here and there for the little girls, while they still like reading and being read to. So I will look around for this one. Thanks.