Some Rambling Thoughts on Moving
I have mentioned before that hubby and I have decided to move. It’s not been easy for me. I still am very emotional about this home. I think I will forever see this house as the place that brought me complete happiness. No, it itself didn’t bring me happiness. I am smart enough to know that no *thing* can do that. But when I think back in my life, I think that the time I spent here will be most monumental in finding who I am, what really matters in life.
Moving into and deciding to fix up this home has been emotional. From the time we bought this house, we’ve been through a separation, we’ve had another child, and we’ve tried to find ways to further ourselves both together and individually. I don’t think that at the wee age of 29, I’d have ever discovered the beauty and wonder and happiness in the life and world around me if it wasn’t for this house. I think without this house, I’d have continued to be materialistic, selfish and greedy. I know a lot of other things play into the equation and the result that is my life today, but I do credit much of my mindset today with having lived and learned and loved in this home.
We still have a ways to go on this home before we can sell it or decide to rent it out. We have a master bedroom to remodel, along with with a few other things like a bathroom, laundry room and some closet space. I am excited about what the place will look like when done. But I am also sad. Because as we are working together, hubby and I, to make the final floor plan and to decide the layout, it’s hard to do those things while knowing it’s not for us. I know that moving is the right decision for our family. I know that it is what we always planned. I never expected, though, to become to attached. Mostly, I don’t think I’ll be able to take it when we’re ready to sell and people trample through the home my hubby built with his bare hands and we shed blood sweat and tears over and don’t like it and therefore don’t buy it.
It’s all just hard. I have to let go. I have to understand that it’s not about me. It’s about other people and their home and my kids and their new home and their new opportunities. It doesn’t mean though that I can’t still be a little sad, a little weary, a little scared about what the next year or so holds for us. I want the perfect scenario. We all do. But perfect rarely happens in life. I think I’ll be okay at the end of the day settling for good enough.
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It sounds like it’d be hard. I lived in the same home for 21 years and it breaks my heart to think that someday my parents will sell it. But I’m sure you can find a wonderful and lovely place to live. And until then, you can enjoy and love your little home.
I know exactly how you feel. We are in the process of trying to sell our home, and it is hard when I think of all the memories we have created here. We have shaped the land over the past 16 years, and it has shaped us. But we are entering another chapter in our lives and know that we can not physically keep our place up much longer.
I’ve had similar thoughts go through my mind. I know that we won’t live in this house, our first house, forever. We have no plans of selling it, but I suspect it will never be fully finished until we do. I hope I can enjoy the completed project for at least awhile when that happens.
Best wishes to you.
Thanks for writing this post. My husband and I just found out that we may need to move in a few months and I’ve had a lot of the same feelings. We had just started major renovations here in our first house, talking about how we’d love to fix it up and stay in it long term. We had even started a garden and a chicken coop when we found out the news.
We’ve lived elsewhere it town in apartments before, but we moved here a few years ago and it’s the first place we’ve had together that really felt like “our home”. We have so much stuff we want to get done here before we can move, though we may rent to a friend who wouldn’t mind ongoing renovations. We do want to keep the house. It’s worth renting it out, and we know we aren’t ready to move on totally.
And of course, we’ll miss our family and friends since we won’t be living as close. We’ll miss the city, too. It’s a great place to live and the new city will be the farthest we’ve ever lived from our hometowns.