Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

Finding Self Worth in Income

Something very odd happened recently. I didn’t expect it and it took me totally by surprise. I found myself making money from this blog. That’s not all that uncommon and I’m certainly not ready to retire off of it but the weird part came in how I suddenly viewed things after I received monetary compensation. I suddenly felt my blog was worth something. Nevermind the nearly 5 months before now that I was writing things of value to me and at times touching other people and adding to the lives of the people who read what I write. I didn’t actually feel like it was worthwhile until I received money. It instantly made it more important in my mind. A validation of sorts.

I got thinking about this and how silly it is, really. I mean, it’s not a lot of money and I’ve made much more in the past from other things since becoming a stay at home mom. And then I got annoyed at myself. Because as much as I love my blog as an outlet, a social source and a form of conversation with some really neat people and a place to share the random musings rattling around my brain, there are so many other things I do in my life that are just as or more “valuable” yet I dismiss them as such since I don’t get monetarily compensated for them. The biggest one being that I take care of my children all day in place of going off to a job that gives me a paycheck. I get paid in the life I live today in the form of sticky peanut butter and jelly faced kisses and ear rubbing. Yet I don’t give myself nearly enough credit for the work I do as a mom. Why do I do that? Is that a normal way to feel? Like it’s just a little bit less valuable and important because I’m not being paid? And if I was being paid would I place more importance on it? Maybe the excitement and value I initially placed on it was simply because it’s been a while that I’ve been compensated for something I’ve actually done and I felt valued.

That got me thinking about how I, and many others I know, place such an importance and such self worth on what we make in income. Maybe that is part of why the American Way has become what it has - bigger, better, more. Because what’s the use of getting a big fat raise if you don’t get to show it off to the world in the form of houses and cars and consumer goods? Does it really just come down to having to stop placing such an importance on money and really letting ourselves appreciate and value things even if they don’t create lots of cash for us?

There’s the old adage that The Best Things in Life are Free. It’s not like now that I have some cash in my pocket, I am planning to go buy some wonderful thing that means more to me than my family. Why then can’t I see the same idea in the other direction? The Best Things We Can Do in Life Are Unpaid, or something like that. Hugs, smiles, love, laughter…most of us aren’t lucky enough to find a way to do those things for an income. I need to let go of feeling like something I do suddenly holds more importance just because I get money from it. My family is still the most important job I have. Even if it’s payment comes in the form of sticky kisses.

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7 comments to Finding Self Worth in Income

  • I think its about recognition, money is a form of it and lets face it, as a mother recognition for a job well done doesn’t come around very often.

  • What an interesting post! First of all, congratulations–I have always enjoyed your blog.

    I don’t have ads in my blog primarily because it’s kind of an ethical conflict with my subject.

    However, I have always secretly worried that if I ever did draw an income from blogging, I would find all sorts of excuses to choose blogging over time with my children.

    And I certainly don’t need any encouragement to spend *more* time online!

  • Emily

    I agree with both of you - it is a form of recognition that I don’t get often enough nowadays. I just have to sort out in my head that just because one thing makes money and another doesn’t certainly in no way makes the monetary one more important. I am sure it won’t always feel this way. The initial euphoria over making some money just kinda took over my sensibilities for a few days. Just trying to keep it real and keep myself grounded.

  • Though I earn enough to support us I don’t really earn that much. Sometimes this makes me feel like a huge huge huge failure.

    Micah will periodically try to convince me that what I’m earning says very little about who I am except perhaps that I work in the underpaid public service sector (hospital technician and library employee) as well as the writing/blogging. And that I do a lot of good at my jobs, even if I don’t earn a lot. It helps to know that he doesn’t think I’m a failure…that’s a start.

  • Lisa

    Congrats Em!

    Sending sticky kisses your way from Sofia!!!

  • Thank you for sharing such a great perspective. Money doesn’t make us valuable. Who we are is the true treasure.

    Also, I’m excited for you! Keep up the good work! Any pennies I make blogging feel like a bonus, since I’d do it anyway.

  • LJ

    Money doesn’t make us valuable, WE make us valuable.

    I do however understand how you feel. When you do so much without monetary compensation, the first bit of “pay” that comes your way can really throw you for a loop.

    I also know that being at home all day with the kids can be some of the hardest work and an 8 hour day feels like a 15 hour day and you do it all for free and sticky kisses.

    Here’s how I look at it: Money certainly isn’t everything, but to your family YOU ARE EVERYTHING. And you can’t put a price tag on that. :)

    You rock and congrats on making some money!

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