Comments on: My Husband Has Depression http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/ simple is beautiful Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:48:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Laura http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-29771 Laura Wed, 31 Aug 2011 16:52:18 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-29771 I realize that this is an old post but I came across it through a web search. Thank you soo much for sharing so honestly, it really helps to know I'm not the only one :) My husband and I have been married less than a year and it's been a rough one. He has been on medication to treat depression for just about a month now and I'm hopeful that things will begin to get better. It's going to be a long hard road because the last year hasn't been pretty. I've been telling him for months that I can't "fix" him and that he really needed help instead of basically saying when I did things good enough or just right he wouldn't be that way. It finally took me giving him an ultimatum to either get help or get out. I know it isn't going to be easy, but reading your story gives me hope that it is possible and worth it :) I realize that this is an old post but I came across it through a web search. Thank you soo much for sharing so honestly, it really helps to know I’m not the only one :) My husband and I have been married less than a year and it’s been a rough one. He has been on medication to treat depression for just about a month now and I’m hopeful that things will begin to get better. It’s going to be a long hard road because the last year hasn’t been pretty. I’ve been telling him for months that I can’t “fix” him and that he really needed help instead of basically saying when I did things good enough or just right he wouldn’t be that way. It finally took me giving him an ultimatum to either get help or get out. I know it isn’t going to be easy, but reading your story gives me hope that it is possible and worth it :)

]]> By: Rebecca Paslowski http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-23958 Rebecca Paslowski Sun, 12 Jun 2011 00:04:40 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-23958 I know you posted this awhile ago but maybe you still look at the comments. My husband has severe depression. When I read your post, it could have been something I wrote with very little changes in the details. He made me so unhappy today I left and was gone for quite some time, only to come back & find him sleeping. That is what he does to not cope. It used to be drugs, then alcohol but after the last time he hit me in drunken confusion, he stoppped binge driking, now he sleeps. He sleeps from Friday night to Monday morning, sometimes more, usually without eating. He refuses to get help apart from the depression pills he got from his regular doctor. I cant leave because I have no place to go. No family, friends or money to speak of. That was all lost in our tumble into addiction which are now free from. You are amazing for still being around and "saving" him. Don't sell yourself short. I am going to print your tweet for him. Maybe it will make him think getting help is a good idea. Thanks for posting. Sorry if TMI. http://wordythoughts1.blogspot.com/ I know you posted this awhile ago but maybe you still look at the comments. My husband has severe depression. When I read your post, it could have been something I wrote with very little changes in the details. He made me so unhappy today I left and was gone for quite some time, only to come back & find him sleeping. That is what he does to not cope. It used to be drugs, then alcohol but after the last time he hit me in drunken confusion, he stoppped binge driking, now he sleeps. He sleeps from Friday night to Monday morning, sometimes more, usually without eating. He refuses to get help apart from the depression pills he got from his regular doctor. I cant leave because I have no place to go. No family, friends or money to speak of. That was all lost in our tumble into addiction which are now free from. You are amazing for still being around and “saving” him. Don’t sell yourself short. I am going to print your tweet for him. Maybe it will make him think getting help is a good idea. Thanks for posting. Sorry if TMI. http://wordythoughts1.blogspot.com/

]]> By: Renee http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-10135 Renee Fri, 18 Jun 2010 04:26:46 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-10135 It was a nice post. I suffer from depression. Depression is the illness and his symptoms mean he is depressed. It takes a special person to "hang in there" with a person with an illness. I doubt you would leave if he had a physical illness so I would hope you would not leave someone with a mental illness. Trust me, it is not as hard on you as it is on him. You may want to escape for a week or two...he probably has days he wants to escape forever, by that he probably finds it difficult to live on alot of days whether he tells you so or not. I hope all spouses of depressed people are as strong as you are. Remember that one day he may not be that strong and it will never be your fault. It was a nice post. I suffer from depression. Depression is the illness and his symptoms mean he is depressed. It takes a special person to “hang in there” with a person with an illness. I doubt you would leave if he had a physical illness so I would hope you would not leave someone with a mental illness. Trust me, it is not as hard on you as it is on him. You may want to escape for a week or two…he probably has days he wants to escape forever, by that he probably finds it difficult to live on alot of days whether he tells you so or not. I hope all spouses of depressed people are as strong as you are. Remember that one day he may not be that strong and it will never be your fault.

]]> By: heidi http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-6714 heidi Sun, 12 Jul 2009 18:32:56 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-6714 thanks for sharing your story, I hope you are both still thriving as I am reading this a year later. ;) thanks for sharing your story, I hope you are both still thriving as I am reading this a year later. ;)

]]> By: Cindy http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-2118 Cindy Thu, 26 Jun 2008 15:33:44 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-2118 THANK YOU for writing this post...boy, could I relate! For Carol's sake, I wanted to mention... I too live with a man who struggles many days with depression. At least three times now, it has been severe enough that he either quit his job, or spent weeks away from it. The second time, he quit engineering and (after two months with no job at all, which ate up our savings) became a bus driver -- a 3/4 cut in pay! Only this past fall, he became a bus driver trainer, a slight rise in pay. Otherwise, for the past six years he' s been driving bus. Needless to say, our lifestyle and what we could accomplish financially changed considerably. Meds for us have been a two-pointed sword. While they definitely were a factor in helping him come out of the depression initially (especially the severe times), they could affect his disposition -- and they definitely affected him physically. He gradually went off them long-term (a nightmare in itself), but occasionally uses them when he needs to. I am not at all convinced that meds are the wonder treatment drug companies want them to be...and I wonder how their extensive use is affecting our country long-term. The great help, for my husband (and myself) has been our shared faith in God, and counseling. What I do watch with concern is our oldest daughter's occasional struggle with depression. I do think this tendency is inherited, based on my husband's family...his dad has had trouble, as well. This sounds ungrateful about the whole thing-- but I am not. During the really difficult years, my own business grew a great deal, which helped bring in income just when we needed it. There were encouraging moments all along the way, especially when I was ready to give up. And my husband kept struggling, and never gave up, which I love about him. We celebrated our 26th anniversary not too long ago. I intend to spend the rest of my life with this remarkable, complicated, wonderful man. I love him. THANK YOU for writing this post…boy, could I relate!
For Carol’s sake, I wanted to mention…
I too live with a man who struggles many days with depression. At least three times now, it has been severe enough that he either quit his job, or spent weeks away from it. The second time, he quit engineering and (after two months with no job at all, which ate up our savings) became a bus driver — a 3/4 cut in pay! Only this past fall, he became a bus driver trainer, a slight rise in pay. Otherwise, for the past six years he’ s been driving bus. Needless to say, our lifestyle and what we could accomplish financially changed considerably.
Meds for us have been a two-pointed sword. While they definitely were a factor in helping him come out of the depression initially (especially the severe times), they could affect his disposition — and they definitely affected him physically. He gradually went off them long-term (a nightmare in itself), but occasionally uses them when he needs to. I am not at all convinced that meds are the wonder treatment drug companies want them to be…and I wonder how their extensive use is affecting our country long-term.
The great help, for my husband (and myself) has been our shared faith in God, and counseling. What I do watch with concern is our oldest daughter’s occasional struggle with depression. I do think this tendency is inherited, based on my husband’s family…his dad has had trouble, as well.
This sounds ungrateful about the whole thing– but I am not. During the really difficult years, my own business grew a great deal, which helped bring in income just when we needed it. There were encouraging moments all along the way, especially when I was ready to give up. And my husband kept struggling, and never gave up, which I love about him.
We celebrated our 26th anniversary not too long ago. I intend to spend the rest of my life with this remarkable, complicated, wonderful man. I love him.

]]> By: Carol http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-1557 Carol Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:32:29 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-1557 I just about cried when I read today's article and then followed the link back to this article. I have depression and it gets pretty severe sometimes. I take medication and go to therapy but still it "flares up" at least 2 or 3 times a year. The reason I wanted to cry is that you are so open and honest about it. I don't think I've ever read anything (and I read a lot) about someone who is affected by their spouse's depression and the marriage survives. My ex-husband just wanted me to fix it once and for all and never have it again - which is impossible. I do not like depression, I do not like what it does to my life so I take my meds, go to my therapist and read like a fool for things that will help. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing about this. It was like finding a safe place in a storm. I love how much you give your husband credit for his work and I love your honesty. What a couple of very brave people you are. Again, thank you, thank you, thank you. I just about cried when I read today’s article and then followed the link back to this article. I have depression and it gets pretty severe sometimes. I take medication and go to therapy but still it “flares up” at least 2 or 3 times a year.
The reason I wanted to cry is that you are so open and honest about it. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything (and I read a lot) about someone who is affected by their spouse’s depression and the marriage survives. My ex-husband just wanted me to fix it once and for all and never have it again – which is impossible. I do not like depression, I do not like what it does to my life so I take my meds, go to my therapist and read like a fool for things that will help. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing about this. It was like finding a safe place in a storm. I love how much you give your husband credit for his work and I love your honesty. What a couple of very brave people you are. Again, thank you, thank you, thank you.

]]> By: martha http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-1508 martha Fri, 25 Apr 2008 02:45:50 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-1508 Thank you for letting us see this aspect of your life. We have the same struggles in our home. Medications have helped, but have unwanted side effects. After many professionals suggested them, we read books by Aaron Beck on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. No fads or weirdness, just a way to gradually recognize ways of thinking that lead to depression, and gradually choose to retrain the brain, to replace the doomsday thoughts with realistic hope. Look at Wikipedia's article on it. It is gradually changing our lives. Thank God. Thank you for letting us see this aspect of your life.

We have the same struggles in our home. Medications have helped, but have unwanted side effects. After many professionals suggested them, we read books by Aaron Beck on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. No fads or weirdness, just a way to gradually recognize ways of thinking that lead to depression, and gradually choose to retrain the brain, to replace the doomsday thoughts with realistic hope. Look at Wikipedia’s article on it. It is gradually changing our lives. Thank God.

]]> By: Jill http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-1359 Jill Sun, 06 Apr 2008 16:50:40 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-1359 Hi Emily I have goosebumps when I read this post. I really, really admire you for being so honest and "keeping it real". You will have reached more people than you will ever have known. (HUGS) Without sound "flip" (we all know that there are no easy answers and it is a matter of relying on Faith, Family, Friends, Drugs, Therapy, More Sunlight, Regulating sleep, Exercise etc etc etc etc)... has he tried doing any natural remedies? Flax is supposed to work wonders.... Hi Emily
I have goosebumps when I read this post. I really, really admire you for being so honest and “keeping it real”. You will have reached more people than you will ever have known. (HUGS)

Without sound “flip” (we all know that there are no easy answers and it is a matter of relying on Faith, Family, Friends, Drugs, Therapy, More Sunlight, Regulating sleep, Exercise etc etc etc etc)… has he tried doing any natural remedies? Flax is supposed to work wonders….

]]> By: Mark Krusen http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-1355 Mark Krusen Sun, 06 Apr 2008 13:18:50 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-1355 I'm sitting here at the keyboard with tears streaming down my face as i read your post. I too am blessed with the disorder of depression. I haven't stopped there though, for good measure I from time to time get to toss in Manic. You see I'm Bi-Polar. I too am married to an Angel. I consider myself very lucky in this regard as the supply of Angels is limited. You have the link to my site if anyone would care to share our life over the last 3 or 4 months it has been very interesting. My wife is starting to put her thoughts into words on Justakrusen.wordpress.com.Thanks for an awesome post. It is only through talking about it that we can hope to tame the wild beast of Depression. I'm justa saying! I’m sitting here at the keyboard with tears streaming down my face as i read your post. I too am blessed with the disorder of depression. I haven’t stopped there though, for good measure I from time to time get to toss in Manic. You see I’m Bi-Polar. I too am married to an Angel. I consider myself very lucky in this regard as the supply of Angels is limited. You have the link to my site if anyone would care to share our life over the last 3 or 4 months it has been very interesting. My wife is starting to put her thoughts into words on Justakrusen.wordpress.com.Thanks for an awesome post. It is only through talking about it that we can hope to tame the wild beast of Depression. I’m justa saying!

]]> By: fathersez http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-1352 fathersez Sun, 06 Apr 2008 07:17:07 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-1352 Take strength in the knowledge that love and mutual understanding will help resolve most things. Regards Take strength in the knowledge that love and mutual understanding will help resolve most things.

Regards

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