Comments on: My Husband Has Depression http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/ simple is beautiful Thu, 18 Mar 2010 12:35:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: heidi http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-6714 heidi Sun, 12 Jul 2009 18:32:56 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-6714 thanks for sharing your story, I hope you are both still thriving as I am reading this a year later. ;) thanks for sharing your story, I hope you are both still thriving as I am reading this a year later. ;)

]]> By: Cindy http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-2118 Cindy Thu, 26 Jun 2008 15:33:44 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-2118 THANK YOU for writing this post...boy, could I relate! For Carol's sake, I wanted to mention... I too live with a man who struggles many days with depression. At least three times now, it has been severe enough that he either quit his job, or spent weeks away from it. The second time, he quit engineering and (after two months with no job at all, which ate up our savings) became a bus driver -- a 3/4 cut in pay! Only this past fall, he became a bus driver trainer, a slight rise in pay. Otherwise, for the past six years he' s been driving bus. Needless to say, our lifestyle and what we could accomplish financially changed considerably. Meds for us have been a two-pointed sword. While they definitely were a factor in helping him come out of the depression initially (especially the severe times), they could affect his disposition -- and they definitely affected him physically. He gradually went off them long-term (a nightmare in itself), but occasionally uses them when he needs to. I am not at all convinced that meds are the wonder treatment drug companies want them to be...and I wonder how their extensive use is affecting our country long-term. The great help, for my husband (and myself) has been our shared faith in God, and counseling. What I do watch with concern is our oldest daughter's occasional struggle with depression. I do think this tendency is inherited, based on my husband's family...his dad has had trouble, as well. This sounds ungrateful about the whole thing-- but I am not. During the really difficult years, my own business grew a great deal, which helped bring in income just when we needed it. There were encouraging moments all along the way, especially when I was ready to give up. And my husband kept struggling, and never gave up, which I love about him. We celebrated our 26th anniversary not too long ago. I intend to spend the rest of my life with this remarkable, complicated, wonderful man. I love him. THANK YOU for writing this post…boy, could I relate!
For Carol’s sake, I wanted to mention…
I too live with a man who struggles many days with depression. At least three times now, it has been severe enough that he either quit his job, or spent weeks away from it. The second time, he quit engineering and (after two months with no job at all, which ate up our savings) became a bus driver — a 3/4 cut in pay! Only this past fall, he became a bus driver trainer, a slight rise in pay. Otherwise, for the past six years he’ s been driving bus. Needless to say, our lifestyle and what we could accomplish financially changed considerably.
Meds for us have been a two-pointed sword. While they definitely were a factor in helping him come out of the depression initially (especially the severe times), they could affect his disposition — and they definitely affected him physically. He gradually went off them long-term (a nightmare in itself), but occasionally uses them when he needs to. I am not at all convinced that meds are the wonder treatment drug companies want them to be…and I wonder how their extensive use is affecting our country long-term.
The great help, for my husband (and myself) has been our shared faith in God, and counseling. What I do watch with concern is our oldest daughter’s occasional struggle with depression. I do think this tendency is inherited, based on my husband’s family…his dad has had trouble, as well.
This sounds ungrateful about the whole thing– but I am not. During the really difficult years, my own business grew a great deal, which helped bring in income just when we needed it. There were encouraging moments all along the way, especially when I was ready to give up. And my husband kept struggling, and never gave up, which I love about him.
We celebrated our 26th anniversary not too long ago. I intend to spend the rest of my life with this remarkable, complicated, wonderful man. I love him.

]]> By: Carol http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-1557 Carol Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:32:29 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-1557 I just about cried when I read today's article and then followed the link back to this article. I have depression and it gets pretty severe sometimes. I take medication and go to therapy but still it "flares up" at least 2 or 3 times a year. The reason I wanted to cry is that you are so open and honest about it. I don't think I've ever read anything (and I read a lot) about someone who is affected by their spouse's depression and the marriage survives. My ex-husband just wanted me to fix it once and for all and never have it again - which is impossible. I do not like depression, I do not like what it does to my life so I take my meds, go to my therapist and read like a fool for things that will help. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing about this. It was like finding a safe place in a storm. I love how much you give your husband credit for his work and I love your honesty. What a couple of very brave people you are. Again, thank you, thank you, thank you. I just about cried when I read today’s article and then followed the link back to this article. I have depression and it gets pretty severe sometimes. I take medication and go to therapy but still it “flares up” at least 2 or 3 times a year.
The reason I wanted to cry is that you are so open and honest about it. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything (and I read a lot) about someone who is affected by their spouse’s depression and the marriage survives. My ex-husband just wanted me to fix it once and for all and never have it again – which is impossible. I do not like depression, I do not like what it does to my life so I take my meds, go to my therapist and read like a fool for things that will help. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing about this. It was like finding a safe place in a storm. I love how much you give your husband credit for his work and I love your honesty. What a couple of very brave people you are. Again, thank you, thank you, thank you.

]]> By: martha http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-1508 martha Fri, 25 Apr 2008 02:45:50 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-1508 Thank you for letting us see this aspect of your life. We have the same struggles in our home. Medications have helped, but have unwanted side effects. After many professionals suggested them, we read books by Aaron Beck on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. No fads or weirdness, just a way to gradually recognize ways of thinking that lead to depression, and gradually choose to retrain the brain, to replace the doomsday thoughts with realistic hope. Look at Wikipedia's article on it. It is gradually changing our lives. Thank God. Thank you for letting us see this aspect of your life.

We have the same struggles in our home. Medications have helped, but have unwanted side effects. After many professionals suggested them, we read books by Aaron Beck on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. No fads or weirdness, just a way to gradually recognize ways of thinking that lead to depression, and gradually choose to retrain the brain, to replace the doomsday thoughts with realistic hope. Look at Wikipedia’s article on it. It is gradually changing our lives. Thank God.

]]> By: Jill http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-1359 Jill Sun, 06 Apr 2008 16:50:40 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-1359 Hi Emily I have goosebumps when I read this post. I really, really admire you for being so honest and "keeping it real". You will have reached more people than you will ever have known. (HUGS) Without sound "flip" (we all know that there are no easy answers and it is a matter of relying on Faith, Family, Friends, Drugs, Therapy, More Sunlight, Regulating sleep, Exercise etc etc etc etc)... has he tried doing any natural remedies? Flax is supposed to work wonders.... Hi Emily
I have goosebumps when I read this post. I really, really admire you for being so honest and “keeping it real”. You will have reached more people than you will ever have known. (HUGS)

Without sound “flip” (we all know that there are no easy answers and it is a matter of relying on Faith, Family, Friends, Drugs, Therapy, More Sunlight, Regulating sleep, Exercise etc etc etc etc)… has he tried doing any natural remedies? Flax is supposed to work wonders….

]]> By: Mark Krusen http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-1355 Mark Krusen Sun, 06 Apr 2008 13:18:50 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-1355 I'm sitting here at the keyboard with tears streaming down my face as i read your post. I too am blessed with the disorder of depression. I haven't stopped there though, for good measure I from time to time get to toss in Manic. You see I'm Bi-Polar. I too am married to an Angel. I consider myself very lucky in this regard as the supply of Angels is limited. You have the link to my site if anyone would care to share our life over the last 3 or 4 months it has been very interesting. My wife is starting to put her thoughts into words on Justakrusen.wordpress.com.Thanks for an awesome post. It is only through talking about it that we can hope to tame the wild beast of Depression. I'm justa saying! I’m sitting here at the keyboard with tears streaming down my face as i read your post. I too am blessed with the disorder of depression. I haven’t stopped there though, for good measure I from time to time get to toss in Manic. You see I’m Bi-Polar. I too am married to an Angel. I consider myself very lucky in this regard as the supply of Angels is limited. You have the link to my site if anyone would care to share our life over the last 3 or 4 months it has been very interesting. My wife is starting to put her thoughts into words on Justakrusen.wordpress.com.Thanks for an awesome post. It is only through talking about it that we can hope to tame the wild beast of Depression. I’m justa saying!

]]> By: fathersez http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-1352 fathersez Sun, 06 Apr 2008 07:17:07 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-1352 Take strength in the knowledge that love and mutual understanding will help resolve most things. Regards Take strength in the knowledge that love and mutual understanding will help resolve most things.

Regards

]]> By: Stephanie Chance http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-1346 Stephanie Chance Fri, 04 Apr 2008 21:02:19 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-1346 Hello. My name is Stephanie. I suffer from depression. {Hi, Stephanie!} Meds work. Stay on them. My husband thought it was 'all in my head.' Until he saw the difference between when I was on my meds and when I was not. Depression, ironically, has really helped me appreciate life. I feel for you, because I know how difficult it was (is) for him to put up with me. Fortunately we know what is important and help keep each other focused on that. It takes a lot more guts to walk out and take care of yourself than it does to stay and enable. Keep it up! You're (both) doing great. Hello. My name is Stephanie. I suffer from depression. {Hi, Stephanie!} Meds work. Stay on them. My husband thought it was ‘all in my head.’ Until he saw the difference between when I was on my meds and when I was not. Depression, ironically, has really helped me appreciate life. I feel for you, because I know how difficult it was (is) for him to put up with me. Fortunately we know what is important and help keep each other focused on that. It takes a lot more guts to walk out and take care of yourself than it does to stay and enable. Keep it up! You’re (both) doing great.

]]> By: deepali http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-1341 deepali Fri, 04 Apr 2008 17:53:58 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-1341 Thanks for sharing. While it's a tough process for your husband, I don't think you should underestimate your own strength and perseverance too. It's great to hear you sticking through this - your support helps just as much as the drugs and therapy. Thanks for sharing. While it’s a tough process for your husband, I don’t think you should underestimate your own strength and perseverance too. It’s great to hear you sticking through this – your support helps just as much as the drugs and therapy.

]]> By: Shanti http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/comment-page-1/#comment-1333 Shanti Fri, 04 Apr 2008 07:10:18 +0000 http://www.remodelingthislife.com/2008/04/03/my-husband-has-depression/#comment-1333 My live-in boyfriend of 2.5 years before Sean had depression too. It's difficult to live with sometimes, and really really hard other times. I have no advice to give because you seem to be doing everything I would do anyway... all I can say is <3. I hope things get better. Maybe he should look for a new job? He seems to be doing an incredible job on your house - perhaps an entry-level apprenticeship with a carpentry company or similar? My current boyfriend started out 8 years ago as a sprinkler fitter making $25/$50 an hour and now is a manager and loves it. There's something in doing what you love and are good at... :) *hugs* My live-in boyfriend of 2.5 years before Sean had depression too. It’s difficult to live with sometimes, and really really hard other times. I have no advice to give because you seem to be doing everything I would do anyway… all I can say is <3.

I hope things get better. Maybe he should look for a new job? He seems to be doing an incredible job on your house – perhaps an entry-level apprenticeship with a carpentry company or similar? My current boyfriend started out 8 years ago as a sprinkler fitter making $25/$50 an hour and now is a manager and loves it. There’s something in doing what you love and are good at… :)

*hugs*

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