I used to live in a big house, I was a working mom while hubby stayed home with our daughter, and I spent money on anything and everything.
What in the world happened to me?
Reality, I guess.
I loved working at my job until my daughter was born. After that, I spent everyday wishing I was home with her instead of at work. I didn’t care what it took, I wanted to be home with her. And here I am. 1500 miles away. A lot less money. 2 kids. A simple life. And a lot more happiness than I ever imagined.
I have to remind myself sometimes of what life was like then. I got up at 6:30 everyday to be at work and I was home by 5 to see our daughter for a few short hours before bedtime. I had to hear about first roll-overs and first smiles and first steps and first words from my husband. I had to miss so many things.
While I was missing those things, I was filling my life with other stuff I thought I needed to be happy. I shopped all the time for new clothes, I spent a lot of money on food, travel, whatever my heart desired really. I thought all those things were making me successful, envied, wonderful, fabulous and happy but they weren’t.
I lived in a big stark house with white walls that I didn’t have the time or energy to decorate and put any effort into. I just went to work and came home for dinner and sleep.
Today, I have found that not only being with my daughter and now my son too, has brought me the happiness and fulfillment that I expected, but I have found so many other wonderful things along the way.
I now live by the beach. I used to hate the beach. All that icky salt water? Not for me. I grew up vacationing at a lake in Upstate NY and spending my summers in Algonquin Park in Canada. I was a lake girl. No need for the ocean. Now, here I am living just a few short miles from the wonder that is the Atlantic Ocean. I love that I have within my reach something so vast and amazing. I love that I can go somewhere that immediately feels like a sweet escape even if it’s only 3 miles from my home.
I live in a small house, one that oozes love and charm and character because I have the time, energy and desire to make it that way. I have learned from this home to appreciate so much, and that living simply is living beautifully.
I am not who I was 2 1/2 years ago when I left my job. The job that made me feel important. The one that paid our bills. The one that was entirely thankless and I was forgotten the day I walked out the door. The job I do know is very much a thankless one too, but I think in the years to come the kids who don’t know it yet will appreciate all that their parents do for them today. I am fortunate enough now to have a hubby who is pretty good at telling me how lucky he is to have me raising our kids and making sure they grow up happy and healthy.
So much in life is unexpected. My life today is completely that – unexpected. But appreciated and valued. It’s worth more than any paying job I could do.
So, what happened to me? My kids happened. This move happened. This house happened. And I couldn’t be more grateful.
I could have written this post almost verbatim–down to hubby staying home with child. I, too, was in a very promising career and had it all (except happiness–ha!). I gave it up to stay home and haven’t looked back! My kids are now 8 and 5 so I am able to work again. After a long discussion with my hubby, we decided that I would only work during the time the kids are in school. Thankfully I was able to get a job substitute teaching a few days a week (which is plenty). I actually just wrote a post about my small home and why we’ll be there a long time (because we love it!).
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Ahh! I just love reading your posts. They are so real and you are sharing such important lessons with us. I think a lot of women would rather be home with their kids or just homemaking than out in the working world pushing for some meaningless goal.
I can’t imagine missing out on my child’s (don’t have any yet!) “firsts.” That must have been really hard for you. I am so glad you are home with them now so that you can drink every day in and cherish this time you have before they grow up!
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I’m right there with you! So grateful and amazed that I’m still at home with my kids, nearly 15 months later. I worked with my first and missed so much that I’ve had such joy experiencing with my second. It is amazing how much we gain by giving up what we think we need.
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A wonderful post I just had to leave a comment. Me, my wife and kids are currently at the point where you were before you made a big change. We’re considering dropping all of our roots in california and moving to a more humble living. The rat race and cost of living in california is insane!
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After just leaving my full-time job, today is the first day of “staying home” with the kids. My daughters are 5 and 3 and I too was tired of missing the important things. Both girls started going to daycare when they were 5 weeks old. Your posts are very well written.
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I like how positive and grateful you are.
Sounds like you’ve got a beautiful family and home. I love the picture of your kids up top – so cute!
A house near the ocean…
… Can I come visit! 
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Happiness is!
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What a lovely post about the things that are really important. I am totally jealous that you live by the beach!
Thanks for contributing this post to this week’s Carnival of Family Life hosted at Beauty and Personal Grooming! Be sure to check out the other wonderful entries this week! And if you would like to host a future edition of the Carnival, you can check out the schedule here and then let me know the week you are interested in.
Have a wonderful Sunday — and Easter (if you are celebrating)!
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That is so beautiful and so true
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While I commend you for following your heart, I hope that you don’t underestimate your contributions to your household while working. Someone has to earn money to support the family and now it’s your husband who is missing the ‘firsts’. My mom worked and my siblings appreciate and love her as much as anyone can love their mom.
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That is very true, jw. I know how important every familial role is. I am from a family where both my parents worked while I was growing up. I was a latch-key kid. I don’t underestimate that and it’s an important reminder that all roles in the home are valuable ones. For me, it took changing my lifestyle to have something important to me and that is what I really meant with this post.
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[...] I participated in the Carnival of Family Life this week and my post What Happened to Me? was included. From that carnival, I enjoyed reading Cheaper Toys Are Better For Your Kids from The [...]
[...] What Happened To Me? [...]
hello AGAIN Emily …
I think what you write about has lots to do with how gen x wnat to live their lives … gross generalisation I know … but still real … we want our kids to be connected, we want less materialism but more life to live … you are a great read for those still making the transition … cheers le
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I am so happy I found your blog. Your story is inspiring. and your simple lifestyle is what my husband and I moving towards. We worked very hard to get out of credit card debt and have now moved onto savings. I am still working part-time in the same position I was in pre-baby boy full-time, so my responsibility has changed little and stress is still high. I long to stay at home full-time with my son and have more children. We have a plan and knowing we are close is so motivating.
courtney from mommie blogs´s last blog post..sitting at the big table…
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I wrote a post similar to this today. I was told that I’m not independent because I’m a stay at home mom…Funny huh?!
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Hi! Obviously I’m commenting on this post WAY after the fact..but..I just found you and I don’t even know how. I’m intrigued by your story and your outlook and I’ll be reading more
I live about an hour away from Algonquin Park and have crossed the border to Western New York MANY MANY times, so I identify with where you came from and Florida is a favourite vacation spot for our family…so I understand loving living there as well. Can’t wait to read more 
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Hi
I just fell upon your blog by way of Dave Ramsey. In 2008 the company I had worked for let me go with no notice after 8 1/2 years. My husband too, was a stay at home dad. We moved a province away, for me, to a job that pays 1/3 of what I used to make, and for my hubby going back to work. We left our dream house and downsized. Unfortunately, we are still struggling to adjust to our new financial situation but with blogs like yours we are going to turn this train wreck around! Our life is much simpler but I look forward to simplifying it more!
Hugs,
Trish
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Your post made me smile. I needed to smile as I was feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment. I am so glad that you found your happiness and are able to stay home and raise your kids. I don’t have kids yet, but the moment my 3 little nephews leave my side my heart just melts and I miss them like crazy. I can only understand from that standpoint, but I can imagine what it must feel like to have the little ones by your side often.
I hope you have a relaxing evening
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